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Critical Analysis #1
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Sea of Blood (please respond)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Sea of Blood (please respond) |
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Littlewings Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 62 |
I woke up this morning with clouds in my hair. i woke up with stars in my eyes. my heart was whiter than a canyon of snow. and the days went by. i layed with you with crayons in my pockets. i layed with you with perfume on my neck. a love so dear can only collapse. a hope so bright can turn to regret. i love you wide like the loving ocean. i love you pure like the wind so true. i love you deep like the sky is blue. ill cry a sea of blood for you. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
......................... Wow.......deep.....I liked it alot |
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loyd168282 Junior Member
since 1999-09-10
Posts 12lou,ky jefferson |
hey this is sweet ans also deep in feelings, that are not shown for people that are at top of happiness for us we feel the same great job |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
The sincerity in this piece was really touching ... some very vivid and creative imagery ... One nitpick (jeez I feel like such a jerk) in lines 5 and 6 ... replace "layed" with "laid" or "lay" ... both, I think, are correct ... Very engaging poem ... Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
okay...this is GREAT. i love the different symbols and objects that you use in here you must post more |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
What wonderful poetry this is. It shows the warmth of love from a young heart, melting away as quickly as summer clouds come. It is poetry in its finest, in my opinion, with words that have profound impact as they bring upon the reader a feel of forgotten love, something like that. I am not really the critic, even if I am becoming one of lately. I praise this one. Please post more, and I'll work with you on them.  |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Once again this is more of a psalm than most poetry I have ever seen. |
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