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the mosques of the christian sector
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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the mosques of the christian sector |
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niky tamayo Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 17 |
gleam in the sunlight. sparkles of something or another catching its many-colored rays... the crescent moon framed against a distant church-steeple cross presents a picture too meaningful for words. but the mosques are all empty now, and the morning prayers are not played through the cracked p.a.'s anymore, and the church bells toll endlessly throughout the day... i thought i saw a shadow of veils in the streets here once, but it was gone in an instant, amidst the clattering of plastic rosaries hanging gaudily from the vendor's stalls... |
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| © Copyright 2000 niky tamayo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Now, this one was quite intriguing! Your direction is much clearer here and I enjoyed the ride. -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
I forgot to mention... the title is the most clever line of all. A real attention snatcher!! -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
niky: Welcome to CA (I don't think we have had the pleasure yet of "meeting"). Even though I am not 100% certain, I get the impression from the content of your poem that the setting is in Lebanon (perhaps Beirut) but it could also be anywhere in Israel and possibly somewhere in Turkey. At first I thought it would be a good idea for you to expand a little bit on what exactly was "too meaningful for words" about the transposition of crescent moon and cross ("too meaningful for words" is a taboo phrase for a poet ... almost means the same as "writer's block" *shiver*  ). After giving it some thought I found myself agreeing with your choice of wording. The peaceful co-habitation of Christians and Moslems would be a tremendously meaningful thing (considering the horrors of the Crusades).The implications of shallowness of the "faith" of the Christian supplanters by way of your mention of "plastic rosaries" are hard-hitting. You've probably done one of the best jobs I've seen in describing the utter sadness of the Christian/Moslem tensions. Again, welcome to CA. Thank you for a thought provoking read. Jim P.S. Next time write something with a few mistakes ... I get grumpy when I have no negative criticism to offer. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Gotta pretty much go with Jim on this one. The understatement is well done which creates, in my opinion, an even more powerful effect. Very well done with splendid imagery. Still, couple points: gleam in the sunlight. sparkles of -Capitalization? something or another catching its many-colored rays... the crescent moon framed against a distant church-steeple cross presents a picture too meaningful for words. --pet peeve: if you're writing a poem, it's your job to find those words for that picture. It's a well done image so either drop that line or make an attempt. but the mosques are all empty now, and the morning prayers are not played through the cracked p.a.'s anymore, and the church bells toll endlessly throughout the day... --nice contrast between the droning Christian bells and the lost passion of Islamic prayer. i thought i saw a shadow of veils in the streets here once, but it was gone in an instant, amidst the clattering of plastic rosaries hanging gaudily from the vendor's stalls... --Powerful ending. Nice job on an uncommon theme (at least here). More, more, please, more!!! Brad |
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Seoulman Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 41 |
Hi Nicky, welcome! I suppose I liked this because it brought back memories of my travels to Spain & North Africa, especially the ramnants of Moorish civilization in places like Cordoba, Seville and Granada. Your poem was very reflective and possessed contrasting imagery and irony. Thanks for the read! |
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