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Critical Analysis #1
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SlyOne
Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 16


0 posted 2000-07-09 03:54 PM


My Mother
My mother was my best friend.
She always had a helping hand to lend.
She has lots of style and grace.
And a loving smile on her face.
Her flower of love and devotion has guided me through life.
Soften my grief, and my sorrow, sharing my toil and my strife.
It does not matter if we are side by side or miles apart.
My Mother is always close to my heart.
There are so many things we cant explain.
The Sun, The Stars, The Wind, and The Rain.
It is up to me rather I succeed or fail.
But it is also up to me to prevail.
For the disturbing, lonely moods of inner isolation.
I search and search to no avail for some kind of explanation.
For the enormous feelings of sadness your going has left me.
This was not your choose to make, I see.
The time since you have been gone, my eyes are filled with sorrow,
my heart is filled with pain.
I sometimes let my tears fall like rain.
The feeling of being alone has considerably taken over my days.
It sometimes makes me so angry and upset, I feel like I could
go into a rage.
I used to look forward to the evening hours rolling around.
Time to watch TV, take a walk, or maybe in a ride downtown.
During the day, I sit and wait as the hours pass me by.
At night, I sit on the porch, and watch the stars in the sky.
I hope that someday soon things will be different, maybe even as good
as before.
But until this day comes, I cannot be like the birds, and soar.

2/02/2000 SLY~








© Copyright 2000 SlyOne - All Rights Reserved
Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
1 posted 2000-07-10 12:49 PM


Slyone we need alitte more information.
Sounds like a disagreement, maybe you could elaborate on the cause of anger, is it between you and your mom.

forrest

mysticharm
Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189
Canada
2 posted 2000-07-10 11:57 AM


Hi Sly

"This was not your 'choose' to make, I see."

...I think here you mean the word 'choice'

...I don't agree with Forrest, it doesn't sound like anger between you and your mom, I think it's anger over her passing away and leaving you alone, how much you miss her and one day, through a family of your own you hope to one day recapture with your children what your mother gave to you as a legacy.

...I liked it alot, a lot of raw emotions and feeling show through.

...your mother sounds like she was a very special person  

debbie

< !signature-->

debbie

Never underestimate the Power of Purpose.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the 'Pres


[This message has been edited by mysticharm (edited 07-10-2000).]

SlyOne
Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 16

3 posted 2000-07-10 03:19 PM


Thank you for your feed back Mystic.
I believe you read between the lines and got out of the poem the feelings I tried to put into in. And yes, one day I will have my own children to pass her legacy on to...Thank you again...

Sharon



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