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Critical Analysis #1
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The Long Road Home 2
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Long Road Home 2 |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
"Please somebody please go find the children they must be hiding and I thought that I heard somebody call but I can`t find them." The Long Road Home 2 Still we need miracles to go back and comfort Mom as she stands behind a nondescript curtain just a small girl peeking out a dingy apartment window where all she sees are shades of gray and to wrap a blanket around her shivering body and carry her to bed or to read her to sleep as we sing her lullabies of hope and love. we need miracles to go back with wolfhounds and wolfbane and woodsmen with axes, to kill the wolf that rages through her veins, a squat on haunches nose upturned howling at the moon "Grandma what big teeth you have. The better to eat you with my dear." (note wolf=lupus which is an autoimmune disease where the body attacks itself.) we need miracles to go back and pull the gun from Dad’s mouth and the bottle from his hand and to give him that that he needed but never had. "and he cried for his mama but nobody came his mama long since had passed away and he longed to be with her to be held in her arms just to be her little baby once again ,just to be her little baby..." (Exert from E.Jackson song.) we need miracles to go back to that certain winter where Dad on steep pitched roofs of wind and ice performed sleight of hand tricks and other high theatrics abra-ca-dab-ra nothing up my sleeve as he pulls a ruh-ruh- wabbit from his hat and that we could tell him the greater magic wasn’t the new bicycles for Christmas rather something else. we need miracles to go back and save Uncle Roy and cousin Jimmy, to jump in and pull them from the murky waters of the Elk River. And to remove the terrible grief from Dad’s face as David Pauline tells him they’ve drown. And to take away the even greater pain from David’s face for having had to say it. David still just a boy and Dad leaning against the porch post head bowed and eyes covered with his right forearm as the tears tumbled silently down his cheeks in slow motion to the ground. "The pain he was feeling could not be explained but it’s something like forty days of rain, yea something like forty..." (Excerpt from E. Jackson song Little Angels." we need miracles to go back to the flood on Garrison Ave. and to grip Dad’s hand and to hold him as he hangs by a taunt rope arm outstretched to grasp the hand of the little girl who slipped from his fingertips into the raging waters to drown. (26 people drown that night and Dad saved many but only remembers the one he didn’t.) "Somewhere over the rainbow way up high there’s a place that I heard of once in a lullaby." we need miracles to go back and save our childhood friends Arthur and Theresa and Jimmy and Billy and Debbie and Roger and Freddie Williams. from wrecks and ropes and things that kill. "Where have all the flowers gone long time passing, where have all the flowers gone, long time ago." "we need miracles to go back and finish the half colored page and to connect the dots and fill in the blanks. to calm our souls and make us whole and to read the unwritten book in my brother`s head "Heart In A Bottle." and to understand, to just understand what it is. "Humpty Dumpty set on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and all the Kings horses and...the men couldn’t put us together again." we need miracles to go back and end the pain and suffering where loss upon loss builds until innocence dies a thousand deaths and we know in our deepest self what has been has been that we can’t go back and pull Dad from the fire(burned to death while trying to start a kerosene heater while drunk.) or stop Mom from chasing butterflies and Santa Claus and Superman are truly dead and even Elyse with an angel on each shoulder and a blessing in her brush can’t bring them back("ashes to ashes, dust to dust." and the far sun sets in the east and in the north and I feel a deepening despair to quote Hemingway "It’s as though a young person has died for no reason at all." and with a growing sense of unreality I stand alone as cold and empty as the dark between the stars and watch for the light. forrest cain on a hilltop 2000 a long time ago far far away there lived two little boys. [This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 06-25-2000).] |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
ahh forrest. so much hurting in your life. but i suppose the other side had to come out in such a poem. i do have comments (you knew i would) first, is that an epigram or the continuation of the other part at the beginning there? i dont know about these long lines. i would want to chop them up. some parts where you have a bunch of long lines seem a little prosaic. too many articles and "and"s i suspect  it is a personal style thing, you dont have to pay me any attention.the footnotes ( as i assume they are) were helpful if a little distracting. i know you cant make footnotes on the forum, so i should erase this, but i dont seem to be doin that, in fact, i seem to be writing more about it. hmm, go figure. im not too big on the song excerpts either (especially the 40 days of rain one, because my old english teacher used to use that lyric, and it takes me back in an icky way. i hope you are not secretly him by the way. that would just be wrong) maybe you could use bits of them, but im more interested in how you express those feelings, not other people. maybe its just the ones i dont know that im hung up on, i dont seem to have a problem with somewhere over the rainbow and humpty dumpty. how odd. i cant believe you put me in this poem! i am SO flattered. im blushing, you cant see, but i am  i do, by the way, really love your ending (not just cuz im in it). especially the last few lines. they are beautiful. i hope ive been helpful (and did not just ramble on) luv Elyse |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Forrest, Well i'd agree about making it a bit shorter, but I hoped that you'd connect the 'then and there' of Part 1 with something meaningful in the present, and I think in the end of part 2 you do this. -Tim |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Elyse much thanks for reading this rather dsjointed poem . It was written for my brother and I never expected anyone else to read it. Many ups and downs like all alcohol families but despite the poverty, bloodshed and constant fear we survived. "heart In A Bottle" a book my brothers writing speaks of this dysfunctional lifestyle and he`d forgotten some of the happier times. So I wrote the Long Road home part1 but I realized I couldn`t ignore the other so tried to put the behavior of my parents in perspective as it related to there pain and suffering .From being raised as an orphan to the terrible visions my Dad carried back with him from Korea(excluding the footrot). Seeing so much death there consumed him. He was and is still our hero. My brother and myself were in the Marine Corp together and survived(1971) we fought terrible demons and have endured. Together we are a force to be reckoned with. We survive by songs and writing. Please Find The Children is my song of course I havn`t written it yet. The lines I used of yours I love so much I had to use them. I hope Hemingway isn`t jealous because I liked yours better. I left out large parts of this poem the coalmine deaths, the shooting feuds, running moonshine etc. enough rambling your biggest fan luv forrest P.S. Elyse you`ve seen my spelling and grammer if I was your old English teacher would I be this bad. If the line Something Like Forty Days Of Rain didn`t originate with my brother, I will add one that did. [This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 06-25-2000).] |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
 Thank you for Part II. A wonderful conclusion. Now, I understand a little better how these memories of home can be miracles in our healing. I like your reference to popular songs and phrazes because it helps bring me back to the erain which you are writing. Thank you, Bob<>< ps. lullabys is spelled lullabies. |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Elyse this is acontinuation of a single writing about my brother/self and parts of our life together. I left out much because it would make little sense to anyone but my family. Tim thanks for reading this overlong writing. I was depressed and had just been diagnosed with hepatitis C and thought my time was short. (not so I've got another hundred years or so I hope.) LHB I do appreciate your help with my spelling and am going to get spell check. Thank you for your very nice comments. I need to know sometimes if it was just liked proper form or not. Your friend forrest |
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eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
Every word and sentence of this poem is true and really paints the portrait of what happened in our lives as children. Thank you for writing this poem. It touched me. I agree you should use a spell check. You already have one Microsoft word. Open it up and play with it. James aka eldridgeJackson |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Wow Forrest, this is really the flip side of the coin but it holds true doesn't it! With all the precious memories that make us smile there are painful memories that make us cry. I'm more interested in what your words say then in noticing if you have spelling errors, (that point of view is probably based on a teacher that loved cracking us across the knuckles with a yard stick when we made an error)so I make a point of not cracking anything across anyone elses knuckles  Besides, I look at spell check the same way I look at a calculator, doesn't make you use your brain, but that's just my opinion. Thanks for sharing Forrest your friend debbie Never underestimate the Power of Purpose. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the 'Present' unkn |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Bless you Debbie you're the only kind and understanding soul who forgives my poor spelling. Life's hard when you only have a third grade education.(thay's pretty good by West Virginia standards.) Again I thank you for taking the time to read this since it's mostly a family history .I look forward to more of your postings. Your friend forrest |
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