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Burden
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Burden |
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porowolf Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 16colo. spgs. , co, usa |
Drink My tears with your lips And take away my pain. When I look into your eyes, I loose myself. But Shit- you don’t even see me. You see a brother, a friend. But don’t think I don’t what that, Cause I want to be friends for ever. I’m no “high roller”, But you still stay by my side. Jimi’s Angel was only here for a moment, But my Angel is here for a lifetime. All i want is to see your smile, touch your skin, kiss your face. But I’m a burden no one should bear. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Your last line, "But I'm a burden no one should bear" is very powerful. It really is the essence of this poem, I think. In the first stanza, you're upset and complaining-- hurt, it seems, that the one you wish were your lover only wants you as friend. The last line where you portray yourself as someone you think should be considered "a burden" is most likely the root of why friendship rather than love has been chosen. A person must love themselves before receiving love. Is this what you were trying to convey? If not, sorry I misinterpreted. If yes.... maybe adding one last line to relay the relationship between being loved and loving yourself (if I could suggest that....). Something like, "I drink my own tears and eliminate my pain/ I am now my own Angel ready for you again". just a suggestion.... ;-) dp |
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