Untitled--fashioned after Adrienne Rich's Song

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Critical Analysis #1

Untitled--fashioned after Adrienne Rich's Song

Ariadne
New Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 8

0 posted 2000-06-07 08:24 PM

i have this guilty feeling as if i'm ripping off her work... but after reading it i just had write something.. could you help critique? tear it to bits if you have to.

you're asking if I'm lonely
no of course not, lonely
not with the sense of loving
books and words and empty space
riding against frosted window
as the planking quakes to each
homesick buckle of rails going by
I am not lonely

alright, perhaps lonely
but only as the sole proprietor
in this peace and silence found in solitude
only as a single mother might be lonely
bombarded daily with tiny paltry kisses, hugs
but longing still for a soak
in a touch more masculine

if I am lonely,
it's from waiting alone, dining
alone on autumn's last warm breath
from thrashing and choking in
the violent sprays
of this discordant sea
the sole survivor: lonely
as a young girl racing
through portals, time zones
sweater flying behind
ripping past accusers and barriers
but only to find; an empty house
a lifeless air,
and crusty wafers
of unpaid bills at the table

-tara

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