»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
What is on the horizon
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
What is on the horizon |
|
|
zorkon65 Junior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 27 |
What is on the horizon By charlie herring What is on the horizon Waiting for me Someday I will swim out there Someday I will see The light is shinning brightly But I must turn my face If I look for to long My heart will give up the race I miss my father I miss my brother I know I will see them I know they love me But I can not stop now To give up would be defeat But I know I would not be disowned There is the light I see it brighter now Still at the horizon’s edge But I keep going My friends need me My lord let me be Your soldier on this earth To fight the war against your enemies To save the souls that are lost So I pick up the pace I will finish this race When I fall you pick me up When I doubt you give me worth If I cry you dry my tears When I get hurt you take my pain My race is almost over This trek is almost down I surrender this mortal shell For I long to go home work like you don't need the money, dance like no one's watching, and love like you've never been hurt |
||
| © Copyright 2000 charlie Herring - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
hi zorkon! this might work better if you tried tightening up and relying more on images to "show" rather than sentences to "tell" what you're feelin here. just for a little help to make a beginning, take another look at any simple subject-verb sentences, think if there may be a more abstract way to express that. good luck  luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
