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Reflection
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Reflection |
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sambo New Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 1Palokka, Finland |
I see my face Reflected on the pond, Which is more real, The one which shatters when thrown a rock, Or the one which takes numerous blows and is not capable of breaking. Tomorrow The rain will have wiped all the remains. No one will remember, I cry alone... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sambo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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redshoes Junior Member
since 2000-05-22
Posts 12Massachusetts |
So sad. I like the visual appeal of thep oem as well as its flow and descriptions. One phrase I was hung up on was "when thrown a rock" (that may be a paraphrase), I appreciate the technique, but it interrupts the flow just a bit. Great piece!-Red |
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spirit4 New Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 3 |
I think that everyone has felt that way at one time or another. I certainly have written some pretty sad poetry just like yours, perfectly expressed. Wonderful!!!! |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Sambo: Welcome to CA and welcome to Passions. The sadness evoked by my read took me by surprise. The first stanza is certainly the strength of the poem (maybe a question mark after "Which is more real?" to make it more clear that you are asking a question). The second stanza seems to close with a whimper (I think this works well in your poem). I think "all that remains" may be more fitting for what I think you are trying to say. Well written debue. I look forward to reading more. Jim |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
welcome to Passions!  i too was bothered with the phrase "thrown a rock"...it interrupts the flow a little... otherwise than that it was a fine read...i like the way you subtly tell us about the rain wiping off the remains...very clever looking 4ward to reading more  |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Welcome to PIP & to CA, This is a very good work. I admire those who are able to say so much with so few words...I seem to always ramble on too much with too many extra words. I won't do that here, or now. Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
Isolation and impermenance is eloquently expressed in your poem. |
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