Critical Analysis #1 |
Flower |
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I see the bright blossom growing in the shaded recesses. My soul spills out to it at once, it is so lovely and serene. I admire its beauty, I would have everyone else see it, My hand reaches quickly to where it grows nearly invisible. I will place it in a vase of richest and costly manufacture, I will carry it through the city streets and let all adore it, I will enshrine it in a temple for future generations to worship, I will drop my hand again and leave the flower here alone and unseen. I will touch it only in my heart. [This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 04-27-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: Man, Ted, when I first started reading this I thought "What are you doing" but then I reached the end and I was very pleased (I guess I should have known better). I like the format of the last lines ... they give me the distinct impression of the hand pausing in mid-reach as the would-be-picker, caught up in an almost melodramatic, semi-religious fervor, realizes what he is about to do. My only suggestion would be to eliminate "the" before "shaded recesses" because it suggests an "of" after "shaded recesses". Without the "the" there is no such suggestion. Strong poem, Ted. Thanks for the read. Jim |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Ted I really liked the beginning and ending of this. It does seem to flow better minus {the} in the first line before recesses . Thanks for sharing. forrest |
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