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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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revolution Junior Member
since 2000-04-17
Posts 20atlanta, GA, USA |
i can feel the rain long before it leaks large drops down from the undersides of clouds i can feel the restlessness in the earth the trees twitching nervously, the uneasy shuffling of root-feet. i always walked in the rain like a martyr unflinching under hard pellets of water a hundred paces from suffering. in the gaze of the medusa i harden from the outside in staring out of agate eyes shoulders breaking under cold weight limbs falling solidly against trunk, stone cracking against stone. --------------------- heh--i just realized this is fourteen lines... don't think it'll make it as a sonnet, though... [This message has been edited by revolution (edited 04-27-2000).] |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
hey babe. i would do stanza breaks when you change thoughts. I love the first 2 btw, the expectation and the martyr one. but, what are you talkin bout with this medusa thing? it seemed very ramdom. luv Elyse |
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revolution Junior Member
since 2000-04-17
Posts 20atlanta, GA, USA |
a little back-story... i have an interest in psychology... this poem is intended to describe the experience of a person who suffers from a dissociative disorder (not multiple personalities, but something related--in this you don't become someone else in stressful periods, but just "leave" yourself: "a hundred paces from suffering.") it's a way the minds of people have to protect themselves when something horrible is happening to the body. that explanation (and yes, i would like it to stand on its own with the meaning i had intended for it, but as many people might not be familiar with the disorder i was describing, i will simply have to hope it works with more than one interpretation) is to address your question about the medusa. i was struck by the image of medusa turning people to stone, as being turned to stone is very similar to how a person dissociating feels, especially since a medusa can be interpreted as a point of stress that triggers the disorder (particularly since intimidating interactions with other people is a common trigger). however, i wanted to make it clear that changing into stone (or wood) doesn't happen instantaneously, but can leave the person watching helplessly and in agony as he/she loses his/her body. anyway, i had considered breaking it into stanzas, and may do that. thanks for the response. [This message has been edited by revolution (edited 04-27-2000).] |
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