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Reflections on a dream and my awakening
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Reflections on a dream and my awakening |
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rojogrande Junior Member
since 2000-04-10
Posts 29Fullerton, CA, USA |
monster grabbing stealing claws teeth blood ripping jaws why???? why???? pulling sweating saliva dripping he pulls i scream he reaches he reaches he reaches ...i escape was he there? was there nothing? i see him he sees me i run he chases he reaches he reaches he reaches HE REACHES!!!!! ............. ............. ............. ............. i awake cold sweat tears fear of the unreal why???? why???? (This is the best recollection of my dream.) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Matt Westmoreland - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
rojo: Welcome to Critical Analysis. Just want to preface my comments by saying that I am only expressing my opinions on what works for me and what doesn't work for me and how I think you might be able to improve your poem. You are free to disagree with anything I suggest. That said ... Besides having claws and dripping saliva, what did this monster look like? You do a fine job of communicating to me that you were frightened but you really don't communicate the emotion of fear to me. This dream was a chilling experience for you. It is your job as a poet to allow us to share in that feeling of dread. Scare me! I want to be scared!  Thanks for posting. Jim |
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