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Critical Analysis #1
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Darin
Junior Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 17


0 posted 2000-04-18 09:19 PM


The Wonderings of Despair
By Darin Maner

Lonely back streets all around you
The stains of your past scuffle upon your feet
As you wander down the broken path of reality
The deafening sound of silence
Echoes through your senses
What once was sincere is now nothing more than a shattered vase  
Everywhere you go you see constant reminders
Of yesteryears past and broken friendships
Solitary regret has consumed your soul
With no where to flee, and no place to transform
You stumble throughout your life of self-righteous hypocrisy.
You try to hide the uncertainties  
But your evil deeds keep rippling into your sobriety
Fighting the anguish casts you away into a private prison
Sentenced to a life of desolation for your malicious ways
Locked inside your heart self stands the yellow rose of truth
Yet it is unable to bloom and grow because of your sins



© Copyright 2000 Darin Maner - All Rights Reserved
revolution
Junior Member
since 2000-04-17
Posts 20
atlanta, GA, USA
1 posted 2000-04-18 09:50 PM


hmm..  my first question is... did you intend for the title to be "the wonderings of despair" or "the wanderings of despair"?

i see in this some deep emotions that are struggling to break through... what jarrs me, at least, is the use of the second person throughout.  my mind says, "who are YOU to tell me the yellow rose of truth cannot bloom because of MY SINS?"--  did you intend this poem to be a criticism of any one group or person in particular?  or was your intent rather to describe the emotional state of an everyman? < !signature-->

 The land sustaining us seemed to hold firm
Only when we embraced it in extremis.  
All I believe happened there was vision. --Seamus Heaney



[This message has been edited by revolution (edited 04-18-2000).]

Darin
Junior Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 17

2 posted 2000-04-18 11:45 PM


I wrote this poem  about the  everyday man  who lives with  guilt and cant  seem to let it go
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