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The Fantasy You Bring
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Fantasy You Bring |
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Missed_fantasy Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 16Mankato, MN, USA |
The Fantasy You Bring You weren't supposed to happen to me I was supopsed to live my life exactly the way I had planned Go to church my entire life be a good mother and good wife Go to school and read the bookds attend class and take the mnotes Read the scriptures everyday morning, night, and mealtimes pray Keep the house clean, fix dinner Exercise to keep me thinner Most of this I'd do for you But should I need religion too? You complete my other half even sad, you make me laugh You don't care what I am not I should be glad for what I've got I'm in love so deep its pain Though happy pain, its still a drain I cannot think of anything Besides the fantasy you bring ------------------ Love always and blessed be my children |
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| © Copyright 1999 Missed_fantasy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Wow ... I can't believe you haven't received any replies to this one ... well let's get the ball rolling, shall we..? This was powerful ... a stuggle between what one was raised to believe and what one's heart tells them is right(if I read it correctly, that is)... the rhyme was good, the lines flowed nicely and you put your point across well ... good job. ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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TheCandyMan_1 Junior Member
since 1999-08-28
Posts 38NY |
This is very very good. I only stumbled a little on the line "keep the house clean, fix dinner". I agree, this needs to be brought back up to the top to be commented on. Very good job. Don't we all struggle with right and wrong.  ------------------ JA.Malone -x--------->o<---------x- "Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite - "Fool!" said my Muse to me "look in thy heart, and write!" - Sir Philip Sidney |
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