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Open Poetry #50
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The "That Ifs"
| Open Poetry #50 |
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The "That Ifs" |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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The “That Ifs” A story with no thesis, I’m picking up the pieces. A life I gave away, For soul I could not save. This shadow of a home, Quiet as a catacomb. A pale look on face, Eyes droop down in disgrace. A wealth of tears uncried, Years lost and dreams denied. Past lessons left unsung— Tomorrows to be wrung. If but echoes of words, From voice so seldom heard. I know now all I lack, And never can have back? The truth, an afterthought, When only told all you’re not. …All you will never be— Never again will see. That if you had been stronger, …If you could have waited longer, …If you’d been more respectful It wouldn’t have ended so hurtful. But if all this lands on me, Tell me what's there left to see? If I gave you all I had And it still ended this bad. If, in my mind, always true, Keeping not one thing from you… Babe, I don’t need to be shown— I can be empty on my own. Whole of the story untold, Perception’s all one can hold. Though, with nothing left to miss, As I die, my love, know this. That if naught in life fulfills me, It’s still the “that ifs” that killed me. But for all I’d not want back, I’ll still leave here wearing black. Michael Anderson |
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| © Copyright 2020 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Michael...Very soulful write. I felt a tear or two touch my cheek while reading this and now I am going to bed with these thoughts on my mind. Stay well my friend...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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augustsky Senior Member Posts 828 midwest US |
I read this somewhere.."A broken heart is the worst, it's like having broken ribs.. nobody can see it, but it hurts every time you breathe," Potent writing Poet.. Sky~ ~Tell me the story about how the sun |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
This is tremendous. Loved it very much, especially the ending. My favorite color. Always bet on black. Saving. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
perception is Everything, my friend. In the eyes of others, right or wrong, it puts a name to your soul. enjoyed j. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Thank you, Paul. Just a reflection on two people who never learned to make concessions. Living the same story, seeing it with two completely different points of view, right to the very end. This, but an answer to questions that were left floating in the air. Thank you also for the Viet Nam research, my friend. That was not lost on me. Just been a hectic few weeks and never got back to you on it. Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
An apt description, Sky~ It’s only when you attempt to move you are reminded. So not okay. Lol |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
soul drifter, black holds power and mystery. It can be a draw like no other. I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. I always bet on black too! Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Well, you got a smile out of me with that reply, James. At this point, I would just have to say that *perception is highly overrated. We are saturated with it. A ton of perception isn’t worth an ounce of truth. Michael |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Definitely sad. Whether someone breaks our hearts or we manage to somehow break our own it sucks. On being empty by yourself: That line punched right through my heart. "I know this love will tear me to pieces |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Jenn, Some of us seem to be prone to breaking our own hearts, or at least sabotaging our own happiness. I know I am guilty on that regard. This didn't fall into that category though. This was the releasing of something I refused to carry anymore. Something, no matter how much adored and loved, that was proving to be toxic. The words were written some time ago in reply to words sent to me. I never ended up sending them though, the cycle had to be broken... blocked accounts and phone numbers and walked away. A lot of that is directly reflected in the line you referenced..."I can be empty on me own." Being sad is one thing, being sad and abused is quite another. I refuse to be the latter. Hugs to you, Jenn, glad to see you posting again.  |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
"But if all this lands on me, Tell me what's there left to see? If I gave you all I had And it still ended this bad.' The question could be asked. . . "Yes, you gave all you had, but did you give what was wanted?" Superb work here. . . -- That which gives light must endure burning. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Sven, When the "idea" of what is wanted, or at least the presentation of it, does not remain constant, or even worse, seems to swing on a pendulum, the giving of it becomes a chase because once what "was wanted" is given, it is no longer wanted. In such a chase of trying to appease another's whims, it becomes apparent it's only the chase they truly wanted, so I guess the answer to the question is "I gave both, all I had and what "was" wanted." We both still ended up empty-handed, but I question is loss was felt on both ends, the wrong end, or perhaps neither. Michael |
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Forlorn Angel Member Posts 143 |
Like a modern day Shakespeare. Pouring the heart dieing and being reborn anew everyday. Great work. |
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