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Open Poetry #50
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Do Not Breathe
| Open Poetry #50 |
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Do Not Breathe |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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This was written elsewhere. Dust rises with each hard strike of heel on the ground. It has formed clouds behind her that seem impenetrable. The cost of making way through and around to the front of her is exhaustion. And having choked on everything left in her wake would anyone even be strong enough to block her path anymore? If hands were extended in plea and you touched her would she feel it any more than the snagging branches and thorny vines that have caused her to bleed thus far? "Maybe that's the way I should go Straight into the mouth of the unknown" Shinedown [This message has been edited by Temptress (06-11-2020 08:05 AM).] |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Very interesting perspective here, Jenn. Gives me something to ponder today at work. What if what lies in front of her doesn't have to overcome her past so much as lead her out of it...away from those twisty thorns vines? Maybe a fixed point to guide her. What if she runs into say, a huge rock in her path? Will she try to avoid it? Burrough through it? Climb it and see what the view from the top offers? What lies ahead is choice, keep your eyes up and just don't turn back towards the tangle. The further the past gets behind you, the less it can affect what's in front of you. You have a way of stimulating my mind. Better than coffee on mornings like these.  [This message has been edited by Michael (06-11-2020 10:06 AM).] |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Micheal, Shush! The coffee will hear you!  Nothing will ever overcome the past. It does serve its purpose. How to treat the Rock. Hmmm...Climbing to the top holds the risk of exposure to would be enemies. To burrough through would mean a supply of smaller rocks and a temptation to get distracted with building a wall. Exhausting. Avoiding it would waste lot of time. Tunneling beneath so darkness can provide cover? I'm glad that this could stimulate you.
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Well, I suppose there are far worse things you could do to a rock. Many different ways to mark a rock I know. Shows you the limitation of my morning awareness that that’s what I came up with. Darkness definitely has it perks but it won’t give you that view of where to go that the top of the rock might have. Seriously though, the depth to this piece striking. I do believe one will have to discover themselves and learn to live for themselves, at peace, before the sought feeling behind hands being extended could ever be a true part of who they are. If the plea is genuine, those hands will still be there once you’ve found yourself and aren’t skeptical of all feeling. Michael |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Jenn, I love the exchanges over your poems with Michael. He is so perceptive and articulate. As is your poetry. You make me think and move my emotions, ~L |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Lori, He is. ;-) I'm glad you're enjoying the exchanges. I was beginning to wonder if I was taking up too much room. I'm glad these poems reach you. One of the main goals in my mind for my writing is to make people think and feel something from them. Thank you for letting me know that you do, and for taking the time.
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