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Open Poetry #50
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What Was I Thinking?
| Open Poetry #50 |
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What Was I Thinking? |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere 
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Looking back, there have been times in my life when I have asked myself that same question. What Was I Thinking? Looking back over all my looking backs, I’ve concluded, It wasn’t the what that I was thinking, it was a matter of I was not thinking. I was feeling. I was reacting like thirst to water. Quenching, the sole focus. in my imagined desert. Akin to desperation, where decisions are not made, but grasped at by emotion. A rainbow of emotions to choose from: Fear. Anger. Shame. Loneliness. Lust. The past is an unhealthy place to dwell. It was what it was. It is what it is. Learn and move on. So what was I thinking, thinking back over those thinking backs? I wasn’t thinking, I was feeling again like it was yesterday. As sometimes happens at 3 am. But if I stop, and think about it, I can choose to quit kicking myself for then and love myself for now. That’s what I was thinking. LGR(C)5/4/20 |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
i love these thoughts about thinking, relevant yann |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Yann, I think what you think about my thinking thoughts is great! Thanks! ~L |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Lots of honesty with self here. I usually think on my past as a reminder when I feel like I might be coming to a familiar bad road in the present. I think the main thing that I obsess over is time I feel that I wasted. I can definitely feel this one. I think it is my favorite so far.
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Temptress, I so appreciate the read and your thoughtful comments. I'm delighted you liked it. ~L |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
"The past is an unhealthy place to dwell" ...and yet so many of us live there, don't we? I try to drown myself with distraction... and something has changed in me recently. I don't find myself looking back anymore...only ahead to the inevitable. Not sure if that's good or not.  |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Michael, sounds like we are in the same inevitable boat. Sometimes it seems like there is a light at the end of the tunnel looking forward. A light you cannot see looking back. ~L |
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