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soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2020-02-19 07:56 AM

Not This Time

I’m not gonna let her in
not this time
not this time
I’ve sutured up my skin
I am fine
I am fine
but I nervously eye the telephone sitting there useless
without a phone call
I’m sweating cannonballs fighting so hard to resist
her laughter like a rain squall
if I fail I will do it so beautifully
if I fall again I will believe her lies dutifully
but in my heart drenched with naked sin
I know it’s a crime
and an ever approaching train whistle whine
I’m really truly not gonna give in
not this time
not this time
no not this time
or so I lie

I’m not gonna listen to her
not this time
not this time
I’ve got aches I still remember
of love gone by
of love gone by
still I stare at her picture till I see her with eyes closed
just like she’s still there
I know she is warmed by burning my poetry and prose
dedicated to smell of her hair
if I sigh for her I’ll shake myself free
If I write again I’ll tap into the venom in me
but in my soul I let her win again
where is my mind
always in my memories pressing rewind
but I’m seriously never ever gonna give in
not this time
not this time
I won’t this time
try try try try

I scrape myself across the floor
to chain then unchain the door
my heart in war with my body
till I’m numb and dying to be
in her arms once again
feel her touch on my skin
fool those delicate hands held the knife
that totally screwed up your life
this simply can’t happen again
and you’re not gonna let her in
not this time
not this time
no no not this time
never is the time
and this time
this time
I don’t wanna lie

"Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.-Langston Hughes

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2020-02-26 10:44 PM

Love is a heartbreaker and a fickle friend.
I can so relate to your poetry. I get you soul drifter, and I love that,
Even if I don’t.

soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

2 posted 2020-02-28 07:23 AM

Thanks for getting me, Blues.

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