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jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2018-02-20 08:39 PM


Inner Optics

I flushed the toilet:
stood, turned, watched
the various pills, powders
and what-not stuff in pinks,
greens, yellows, some browns,
blue and lots and lots
of white, swirl,
mix and in a cataract of
of highlighted water,
disappear.

Clear water filled the bowl.
Rust stains marred
the white of the porcelain.
I picked up the gun
from the top of the tank,
put the end of the barrel
to my temple,

pulled the trigger . . .

Damn!
Every dream ends this way -
no bullet in the chamber,
no finale,
no BANG!

The girl in my bed,
in total disarray,
holding her arms up to me -
I kissed her.
I ravished her
in every way
men dream about,
loved every second,
was glad the earlier dream
was only that,
looked long, into her eyes . . .
“more”, she said,
eyes sparkling in anticipation.

I awoke, sweating,
stiff in places
that had no right to be,
on my belly,
in the rain, in the jungle
of ‘Nam, just East
of Cambodia, silently begging
the mosquitoes to leave me
alone before I screamed
at the thousands of bites
I was taking while barely
even daring to breathe,
leastwise scratch and slap and rub.

Again I awoke.
In a part of town where
beds ran fifteen minutes
to twenty-four hours.
Sheets were rented
by the number of stains,
blood costing extra,
and lives, for the most part
were redundant

I bailed, as fast as I could,
out the back door,
down the alley,
running down the street,
block after block,
and I’m still running,
running . . . begging

to wake up.


© wesley james beard, jr.
february 20, 2018


[This message has been edited by jwesley (02-20-2018 09:36 PM).]

© Copyright 2018 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
1 posted 2018-02-20 09:29 PM


Awesome write Jim... I tried writing while I was dreaming once. When I woke, l looked at what I had written and there before me was a bunch of chicken scratches on the paper, yet it was so clearly written, when I wrote it during the night. You've captured this dream state quite well and took us on a very interesting ride
Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror
2 posted 2018-02-21 12:01 PM


As in a netted hammock in New Guinea, the little buggers are where you find them, AW.

...just bein' Bluesy

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2018-02-21 04:46 AM


Jimmy! This is an exceptional write! The dream state you nailed and the twists and turns you take make you hang on your seat. I think this speaks for other Vets on many levels. Ya really done good on this one Jimmy, it is up there with my favorites of yours. ~L
Almost Wholehearted
Junior Member
Posts 20
Pgh, PA
4 posted 2018-02-22 11:29 AM


I hate to say over used words (i.e. "deep") - but I honestly found this to be powerful.  Dreams are powerful - especially when they aren't only dreams. Thank you for sharing this.

I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted."  Brene Brown

Almost Wholehearted
Junior Member
Posts 20
Pgh, PA
5 posted 2018-02-22 11:30 AM


I hate to say over used words (i.e. "deep") - but I honestly found this to be powerful.  Dreams are powerful - especially when they aren't only dreams. Thank you for sharing this.

I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted."  Brene Brown

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