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Redstart
Senior Member

since 2014-05-16

Posts 535

0 posted 2014-05-22 03:51 PM

Along the stonewalled, dormant field,
where failing brambles flay the stone,
he stopped awhile to touch his thoughts
and smoke a cigarette alone.
Then surfaced like a summer spring,
images of yesterday,
when youth was wrapped in cotton peace
and they so distant from the fray.
There, he held the birth of them,
lost scents of love and cradled dreams.
A mirage sent to cull the waste
and tease that life's not all it seems.
Fleeting thoughts, semi-conscious stares,
scanning years in longing sighs.
Searching back, too far, too deep,
then coming round to realise.
That memories will not suffice
to smooth the roughened edge of pain.
For all who fly the sky of life
shall kiss her sun and bear her rain.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2014-05-22 04:07 PM

Oh, what a deep and compelling bit of writing, Redstart. This has to be my favorite two lines . . .

quote:
That memories will not suffice
to smooth the roughened edge of pain.

Memories can sometimes mess with the one remembering so very much that it takes over the persons life. I know this first hand. I loved the truly inside emotions you evoked.

~*~ Less depends on the size of the dog in a fight than the size of the fight in the dog. ~*~

wordancer
Senior Member

since 2000-07-30

Posts 809
VA

2 posted 2014-05-22 04:09 PM

The last four lines are striking...you nailed the emotions/place here. There are times I feel that it would have been better not to loved at all...for memories does not ease it (pain) at all

[i]That memories will not suffice
to smooth the roughened edge of pain.
For all who fly the sky of life
shall kiss her sun and bear her rain.[I]

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2014-05-22 04:19 PM

Excellent writing, Redstart.
Ida

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2014-05-23 06:16 AM

I'm delighted to find this treat on the "blue buffet". Many great lines here, my favorites are the same as wordancer.

Lori

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

5 posted 2014-05-23 08:36 AM

poignant and potent on the pain of so called Love

Redstart
Senior Member

since 2014-05-16

Posts 535

6 posted 2014-05-23 11:07 AM

A big thanks to all who've taken the time to read and reply to my posts.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

7 posted 2014-05-26 08:27 PM

"memories will not suffice
  to smooth the roughened edge of pain.
  For all who fly the sky of life
  shall kiss her sun and bear her rain."

A particularly fine ending!

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

8 posted 2014-05-27 01:19 AM

a fine imagery for mental survival , i loved the accuracy of the metaphor

yann

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

9 posted 2014-06-01 02:16 PM

Wow, this is tantalizing poetry... from the excellent flow on through the depth of the imagery to the powerful end message. A pleasure to read.

Michael

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