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Open Poetry #49
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Leaving You
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Leaving You |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Leaving you The weight of your happiness Crushes me My shoulders too thin To bare the burden ~ Leaving you And those downcast eyes That signal disapproval Your weeping, the last refuge Calculated to the last tear drop ~ Leaving you Who have snipped and shaped My being to your fancy Bestowed the gifts of favours Weighed on the scales of necessity ~ Leaving you My friends, no longer wait in line For your stamp of approval We can’t meet your expectations It is best this way ~ Leaving you Before the snare tightens Before the trap snaps shut Before resolve melts to water Before love turns to hate ~ Leaving you |
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| © Copyright 2016 Cari - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Exceptionally well done. Did you compose this stunner from the core of your life? Or is it only a well done piece of fiction. It is much too personal to be fiction that's my belief anyway. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Ditto to Jerry's response. I hope it is not based on your life. If it is then I agree it is time to take leave and get off the Merry go round. If it is because of friends probing then think it over you may had a decision to make.Best to you, Jo |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Thanks for your kind comment on the poem. Yes it relates to an affair which I walked away from. It wasn’t easy; she had the looks and the intelligence to go with them. But (there’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there) she started to demand all of my time, which is flattering at first but it very soon becomes stifling. So I’m afraid I was like the guy in the old Dylan song ‘It ain’t me babe, it ain’t me your looking for--babe’ Cari. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
excellent, this reveals the difficulty for a lot of us to make last loving, Love is a jeopardy indeed,but we learn a lot from it, as we learn a lot of our failures, and your poem talks to me this kind of feelings, thanks yann |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
fine writing...james |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Cari - When it's time to go, get the heck out of there before you can't and before it makes everybody miserable that you didn't. Very nice work. Namyh |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
..."Calculated to the last teardrop" Strong lines divulge heartbreak. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Wisely said and wisely done. All that attention can blind a lesser ego to the point of no return. Says a lot about you that you could turn it down. ~L |
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