Mary - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

0 posted 2016-03-11 06:06 AM

Mary

She stands uncertain
Emerging bewildered
From the chrysalis of puberty
With untouched breasts
~
Femininity, protected
Hidden in woollen bundles
Downcast eyes
Looking for escape
~
Seeking the shadows
On the edge of the crowd
Embracing loneliness
As her only friend
~
A hesitant flowering
Of the bloom of beauty
Discovering love
In understanding eyes
*
*
*

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2016-03-11 09:39 AM

Damn, Cari, THIS is a well-constructed piece of writing. Perfect, even.

quote:
With untouched breasts

Classical writing at it's absolutely best. I'm in awe.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

2 posted 2016-03-11 10:26 AM

Thank you my friend.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2016-03-11 08:39 PM

nice writing...james

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2016-03-12 08:02 AM

A poem of knowing..

Reminds me of myself and my daughter..
Mine were the "understanding eyes"
Although my mind was always in a mode of protection-protection of something
unknowable-and unprotectable in the time frame of the poem.

The time/facet of life that only the source can protect..

A deeply moving poem, that I, and my now 38 year old daughter can relate too.

btw-the title is perfect.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2016-03-12 11:03 AM

Cari
Well written, it's a big world of emotions and experiences to journey into.
Part of the process. Like the last two verses very much.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

6 posted 2016-03-14 09:27 AM

Shyness to this degree is one I have tried to illustrate in the poem.It is in effect a disability and a crippling one at that. The poem inspiration came from a mixed party of adults and children.
A woman introduced her thirteen year old to a stranger with these words.
“Say hullo Judie. “You’ll have to excuse, she is so shy, aren’t you darling”?
My first thought was; I know you mean well but that’s a terrible thing to say. Judie knows she’s shy, she’s lived with it for most of her life and you are reminding everyone in earshot of the fact, and so a poem is born.

Thanks everyone for your kind comments, much appreciated.

Cari.

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

7 posted 2016-03-15 03:10 PM

Cari as a once very shy young girl I have to applaud you for understanding. As for the mother. So wrong So wrong.Thank you for this poem. Jo Perry

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

8 posted 2016-03-15 05:58 PM

You are very welcome Jo, thank you for reading.

Cari.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.