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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2016-03-09 03:22 PM

Killing me softly
in my comfy chair.
Nothin’ quite as cushy
as my dimpled derriere
Throwin’ back the sweets
like I haven’t a care.
Sleepin’ all the time,
boy, if I only had a dime…
Gettin my exercise
puttin’ tork on my fork.
I shovel it in
like gluttony ain’t a sin.
Then I wonder why I waddle
and my jeans don’t fit right.
I’m not particular,
I eat everything in sight.
I think even my chair
might be missing a bite.
Oh woe is me,
fluffy as I can be.
I wouldn’t feel so glum
if I was filled with helium.
Alas, I’m not…
a load of lard is what I’ve got.
It wiggles, it jiggles, it sags and droops.
If it were basketballs, it wouldn’t fit through the hoops.
I can’t say as I’m happy,
but I’m still delightfully sassy.
I still have a cute little nose
and slender fingers and toes.
I haven’t gone completely to pot…
Why, my eyelashes are so thin
they make my eyes look hot.
I’m not bragging,
my ego’s just flagging
so I’m blowing out my attributes.
One can never give one’s own horn enough toots.
So be kind when commenting, don’t be terse.
I’m still alive and kicking and not in a hearse.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2016-03-09 03:56 PM

LOL!

Hey, those attributes are a positive.
Your diverse writing is a tribute to your open minded approach.
Good at re-languaging the norm.
Make sure there's at least 75% coaco
in your dark chocolate, good for the heart and blood pressure.

And, "delightfully sassy" is gonna keep the inner fires burning.

Thanks for the chuckle and don't think you're the only one suffering this result from old man time....

Hang in there! Miss Sassy!

true love never looks after it's own interests

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2016-03-09 04:06 PM

Thanks Eric!
I was feeling playful today and nobody to pick on but myself. Good thing I'm such a good sport! ~L

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2016-03-09 04:21 PM

Thanks Eric!
I was feeling playful today and nobody to pick on but myself. Good thing I'm such a good sport! ~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2016-03-09 05:48 PM

Nothing like braggin' about it. Actually that is a good thing, to more or less make fun of yourself. It might put some good thoughts about doing something about all that excess weight, and secretly, I'm hoping that you are doing exactly that.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2016-03-09 06:27 PM

I'm not bragging Dr. Jerry. I'm gettin' the blood sugar down and I'm off the diet pop. I quit buying boxes of doughnuts at the grocery store. I'm working on it.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2016-03-09 06:46 PM

Music to my ears, Lori.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

7 posted 2016-03-10 06:03 AM

This reminded me of the many pundits who are so eager to tell us how to live our lives. Nobody lives for ever so enjoy your time here. I smoke an occasional cigarette, so what, I am not a threat to anyone’s life, you can get more stuff down you’re lungs by a walk down any street so stop waving your arms at me.

Tell it how it is Lori.

Cari.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

8 posted 2016-03-10 08:37 AM

Thanks Cari,
Making fun of myself is just naturally part of my sense of humor. Besides I can't deal with something if I'm not in a good place in my head about it anyway. I knew JP would get all serious on me, he always does. I had a hoot writing it and that's what really matters. ~L

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2016-03-11 08:32 PM

Its hard to lose weight....james

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

10 posted 2016-03-12 08:47 AM

James,
Once I lost nearly 300 lbs of ugly fat almost overnight...I got a divorce! ~L

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