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Open Poetry #49
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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2016-03-04 09:32 PM


When the moon is blocked by gray clouds,
A lone woman visits the graves,
She wears a black dress like a shroud.

She speaks, but her words are not loud,
She whispers and calls them by name,
When the moon is blocked by gray clouds.

The deceased has grown to a crowd,
She speaks tenderly to the dead,
She wears a black dress like a shroud.

With the handgun she kept her vows,
As her victims entered her net,
When the moon is blocked by gray clouds,

They came strutting and oh, so proud,
And many more will find her web,
She wears a black dress like a shroud.

Her name is Danielle of the Marsh,
She hides her real name, Black Widow,
When the moon is blocked by gray clouds,
She wears a black dress like a shroud.

©January 18, 2016 / Jerry Pat Bolton


~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (03-04-2016 10:30 PM).]

© Copyright 2016 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
1 posted 2016-03-05 03:06 PM


Can't believe no one has responded yet..
I've no use for hit & run writers.

Jp, I was in the mood for something a little dark & mysterious, this fits the bill.
Enjoyed the read & the form Poet.

J

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2016-03-05 03:51 PM


I agree with you on the hit and run ones, Rain. So happy you found this poem somewhat satisfied your "wants" today. Thank you.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2016-03-05 03:51 PM


I know strange things happen in bayou country, Jerry.

"The deceased has grown to a crowd,
She speaks tenderly to the dead,
She wears a black dress like a shroud."

Didn't know zombies frequented the swamps?

Well done, and true to form..

The last four lines...yea, thats what has to be thought of ahead..

And you did good, on thinking.


JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2016-03-05 03:53 PM


Yeah, a lot of "things" frequent the swamp, Ice. Thanks much.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

DaysofView
Member
since 2014-04-01
Posts 433
Just A Slice Of The Pie
5 posted 2016-03-05 11:52 PM


Very mysterious and goose bumpy too! Like a campfire story! I really like this one Jerrypat and I'll be sure to read it it over again many times! If I memorize it I can say to Billy with the lights out for a great shock! Wonderful surprise from you!  

If I were more than I am, I'd see things differently instead of the same all the time.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
6 posted 2016-03-06 07:29 AM


Hah! That would be a shock to Billy I'm betting, DV. Thank you so very much . . . For reading and commenting on my poem.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2016-03-08 09:24 PM


IT's been a while since I've read a villanelle, or written one. A very intriguing form, and I like this surprise from you. You've done it well JP, with its chilly creepy scary  tone.
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
8 posted 2016-03-08 10:35 PM


Ahhh . . You should dust off the keyboard and pound out a villanelle, jjote . . . No time like the present. Thank you very much for your kind thought . . .

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

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