Alchemy Bird+Thistle+Time=Gold

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Open Poetry #49

Alchemy Bird+Thistle+Time=Gold

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2016-02-24 08:23 AM

(Tanka)

Augeries with wings
Flutter down, dull olive green
Finches drop to feed.

Equation for gold to come
Bird, thistle, time-Alchemy

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2016-02-24 09:07 AM

Ahhh . . . perfect line I'm thinking considering

quote:
Augeries with wings

and the beat goes on with life in the process living, the seed is necessary for the bird i.e., indeed, everything to turn into a golden imagine of itself.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2016-03-09 10:38 PM

is this like haiku, or variation with the 2 additional 7-syllable lines.

regardless, lovely image the "augeries with wings" fluttering down to become food for finches

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2016-03-10 04:55 AM

Thank you for reading

"is this like haiku, or variation with the 2 additional 7-syllable lines."

Yes, it is the Tanka form.
5/7/5-7/7, an expansion of Haiku..

It allows a little more clarity to the restriction of 5-7-5

The picture is too small. They are goldfinches, in winter..a dull, olive gree--soon to burst into gold feather beauty in spring.

Thanks for your reply.

[This message has been edited by ice (03-10-2016 08:50 PM).]

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2016-03-10 02:45 PM

ice, beautiful in its simplicity.

A

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