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Open Poetry #49
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2016-02-24 08:23 AM



  


  (Tanka)

Augeries with wings
Flutter down, dull olive green
Finches drop to feed.

Equation for gold to come
Bird, thistle, time-Alchemy

© Copyright 2016 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2016-02-24 09:07 AM


Ahhh . . . perfect line I'm thinking considering
quote:
Augeries with wings

and the beat goes on with life in the process living, the seed is necessary for the bird i.e., indeed, everything to turn into a golden imagine of itself.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2016-03-09 10:38 PM


is this like haiku, or variation with the 2 additional 7-syllable lines.

regardless, lovely image the "augeries with wings" fluttering down to become food for finches

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2016-03-10 04:55 AM


Thank you for reading

"is this like haiku, or variation with the 2 additional 7-syllable lines."

Yes, it is the Tanka form.
5/7/5-7/7, an expansion of Haiku..

It allows a little more clarity to the restriction of 5-7-5

The picture is too small. They are goldfinches, in winter..a dull, olive gree--soon to burst into gold feather beauty in spring.

Thanks for your reply.


[This message has been edited by ice (03-10-2016 08:50 PM).]

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2016-03-10 02:45 PM


ice, beautiful in its simplicity.

A

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