First Love - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2016-01-31 03:06 PM

Love songs swirling down from heaven
Like the wind out of the sky
Always leaving then returning
On a never ending ride
Like a comet from some lost world
Burning bright with ancient coals
Like a roulette wheel turning
Filling gambling hearts with hope
Or a soft inviting beckoning
Past the reason of all grace
Where the heart is on a journey
Spinning wildly into space
Filled with magic you design
Deep within your haunted mind.

Like a calling that you follow
To make sure it's yours alone
As your thoughts become a cistern
Filled with springs of boiling foam
Where your vision never waters
Down the dreams you've always held
In a bath of self improvement
Where you just can't be yourself
And the caution of acceptance
Has become like rolling dice
While the hands of father time
Try to hide you from your vice
Where the heart is on a journey
Spinning wildly into space
Filled with magic you design
Deep within your haunted mind.

Words that echo in your novice
Thoughts that flame within your head
You think they'll burn forever
Like the truth that's never dead
Like waves spill from the ocean
Bringing new life to the sand
It's the mystery of becoming
Of the age to understand
That drumming of your heartbeat
The summary of your worth
Where love has come to reckon
Past the miracle of birth
While the nuance of your lessons
Fill in an empty place
Where your heart is on a journey
Spinning wildly into space
Filled with magic you design
Deep within your haunted mind.

true love never looks after it's own interests

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2016-01-31 04:09 PM

Dear Eric, this is absolutely magical! In a spontaneous desire I did not read your words silently and I did not read them aloud either ... I did SING them!! It came to me so quickly and I sang till the end ... of course that must have happened because I know you are a songwriter and indeed the beautiful refrain is there and while singing I smiled.

It is such a pleasure to find you here with this enchanting "First Love" poem. It is worth the long waiting time for your return!

Love it, love it!

Margherita

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2016-01-31 04:16 PM

Couldn't help but singing it once again, dear Eric, and this time I could hardly sing the last refrain because I was moved to tears. Your choice of words and the imagery are incredible.

Have you recorded this?

M

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2016-01-31 05:36 PM

I feel intimated by Margherita's stirring comments. I didn't sing your poem, but did feel a touch of a deep feeling within my chest area around my heart. Very good to see you again, Eric . . .

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2016-01-31 06:04 PM

Thank you so much for the kind thoughts in your comment Margherita I certainly appreciate your singing along with this piece. Twice even, that's a real compliment!

No, not recorded yet but working on it.....Many thanks again and as always a pleasure to hear from you.

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2016-01-31 06:07 PM

Hi Jerry long time no communicate but always good to hear from you.
Thanks for the heart touching mention. I'm certainly happy it affected you that way.

true love never looks after it's own interests

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2016-01-31 08:27 PM

I just love this, made my breath catch...your third verse drives it all home, literally. The long and winding road...

So very well done, ethome.

It's really wonderful to read you again.

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

7 posted 2016-01-31 08:35 PM

Good in every way-start to finish.
Special kudos for the refrain..
excelent choice of song lyrics..

In my head...G-Em-C-G-D-G I think that's the way I would play it..will try it later.

Thanks for saying your poem.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2016-02-01 04:40 AM

Thank you Blues, nice to have you read this and appreciate the idea. I appreciate the emotional expression very much.

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

9 posted 2016-02-01 04:43 AM

Thanks Ice, those are good major chord choices. I'll give them a try and see how they work out.
I'm pleased you could appreciate it from beginning to end.
I appreciate the visit.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

10 posted 2016-02-02 11:35 AM

hello ethome, what a wonderful stanza, i'll remeber specially that thoughts fill the emptiness, whatever emptiness is, there are so many lines to comment, I was marvelled by all this

Words that echo in your novice
Thoughts that flame within your head
You think they'll burn forever
Like the truth that's never dead
Like waves spill from the ocean
Bringing new life to the sand
It's the mystery of becoming
Of the age to understand
That drumming of your heartbeat
The summary of your worth
Where love has come to reckon
Past the miracle of birth
While the nuance of your lessons
Fill in an empty place
Where your heart is on a journey
Spinning wildly into space
Filled with magic you design
Deep within your haunted mind.
thanks a lot

yann

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

11 posted 2016-02-03 09:57 AM

"Words that echo in your novice
Thoughts that flame within your head
You think they'll burn forever
Like the truth that's never dead"

So true, so very true.
Great poetry, nice flow start to finish.

Enjoyed, friend.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

12 posted 2016-02-04 05:39 PM

Thanks JL
I appreciate the quoted lines and glad you dropped in for the read and commented.

Take care

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

13 posted 2016-02-07 03:47 AM

Thank Yann for that verse quote and the kind words.
I appreciate it very much.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

14 posted 2016-02-17 09:48 PM

enjoyed reading this...james

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

15 posted 2016-02-18 06:02 PM

Thanks James for the visit and the reply.

true love never looks after it's own interests

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

16 posted 2016-02-21 07:24 AM

Bravo Eric!
This takes Best of Show as far as I'm concerned! This is the best break down of how love works upon a person. It is so wonderfully true and insightful. Great song!
~L

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

17 posted 2016-02-21 12:05 PM

Lori, thanks so much for the bravo and the kind comment I appreciate it very much.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

18 posted 2016-08-19 03:57 AM

Thanks to all for the warm appreciative comments

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.