And in Conclusion of My Life

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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2016-01-12 03:33 PM

growing old
from the standpoint of moi
means what
exactly

I've lived life on the tilt
daring myself
step across the line
breathe uncontaminated air
not the staleness
of status quo
air which was mine alone
to consume
danced on the edge
sometimes falling off
with a laugh
getting back up
strutting on down the boulevard
snapping fingers
cool, yes indeed, way too cool

visited various beds
never took any of them
all that seriously
uh, yeah, there was that one
but the idiot that I was
only took it serious after it was gone
forever
I'm still paying for my folly
each and every day
and will
until the day I die
I'd found a rose
in a field of bitterweeds
God help me
I failed to understand
I'm so very sorry, Nanette

so!
here I am
spending my time remembering
my bandit ways
shaking my head at things I've done
not to worry
I'm okay with everything
by that I mean
I've forgiven myself
no longer let the past rule every waking moment
of course forgiving
and remembering are two
distance cousins
for to be completely blunt
and blunt is what I have often been accused of being
dammit there are some things
you just can't forgive yourself for
but I've done my best

©January 10, 2016 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2016-01-12 03:49 PM

Well Jerry, those that believe in God leave the big forgiving to him. I got "saved" back in high school and I have never experienced anything else like it. Ya never know, stranger things have happened.

~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2016-01-12 04:12 PM

Thank you Lori. Appreciate your thoughts. I need to cease and desist these backward glances anyway . . . Thanks again.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2016-01-12 05:48 PM

Your reminiscing is a proof that you appreciate life as it is and the fact that your heart still hurts for Nanette shows that you have grown in awareness.

I believe that part of our mission here on Earth is to learn how to love and how we can heal relationships with others and ourselves when we act out of love.

That's what you do, dear Jerry, when you hurt for something or someone under certain circumstances in which you would act differently now

Thank you for the opportunity to express my opinion,

Margherita .

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA

4 posted 2016-01-12 05:51 PM

Hand to cheek..& Big Hugs to you JP

rainyJ

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

5 posted 2016-01-12 05:55 PM

You can’t change the past friend, I’ve got a few pages I’d like to re-write but then that goes for most of us. The very most we can do is not to repeat the mistakes we’ve made and be content with that.

Cari.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2016-01-12 06:01 PM

Margherita, you know that you are always welcome here in my world. You have a way of giving comfort when it is needed, and I thank you for that.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2016-01-12 06:03 PM

Rain, I feel the imprint. Thank you!

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2016-01-12 06:04 PM

You have a good attitude, Cari, and hopefully we will be able to do as you say . . . Thank you for being in my world.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

9 posted 2016-01-13 05:46 AM

Jerry
AS many poems do, yours reminds me of other poems, written as song lyrics..your poem reminds me of this stanza, from a John Prine song...

*"An old man sleeps with his conscience at night
Young kids sleep with their dreams
While the mentally ill sit perfectly still
And live through life's in-betweens"

Yes, we older men sleep with pangs of conscience stabbing us , like dull knives..The somethings of our youth, (dreams) ghosting above the bed.
But you (we)are not "mentally ill", and we don't "sit perfectly sill" even at our age...we now write our way through "lifes inbetweens" and that's what keeps us sane.

I like the honesty in this poem--sad, but somehow refreshing-stirs the emotions, like good poetry should..

* "The late John Garfield blues" John Prine

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

10 posted 2016-01-13 08:12 AM

I've read it somewhere that it is impossible to write anything fresh and new. I disagree with that, however, but I do understand there is that possibility.

John Prine has so many songs recorded, but I think Sam Stone is my favorite. HaH! I'm not so sure we old one don't go somewhat insane toward the end, Ice.

Thank you for your super comments on my poem.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

MissMarti
Member
Posts 87
USA

11 posted 2016-01-13 09:31 AM

Fascination. You've had quite the life...or maybe not!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

12 posted 2016-01-13 09:47 AM

MissMarti, you are correct to a point. I have led a fairly fascinating life. Still . . . looking back on it I cringe inwardly on many memories. Thank you very much for your intelligent comment.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

DaysofView
Member

since 2014-04-01

Posts 433
Just A Slice Of The Pie

13 posted 2016-01-13 07:18 PM

You're such a good poet Jerrypat2! It sounds like through everything good or bad you still have a good attitude and ended up a nice person here.

It was just a thought which made them run. It was just an act that killed them.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

14 posted 2016-01-13 07:40 PM

Thanks a lot DV, what a sweet thing to say . . . That just made my day . . . Week . . . er . . . Month!

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Mr Martini
Member
Posts 366
Beneath The Line

15 posted 2016-01-14 12:38 PM

You've received many well deserved accolades here Mr. Bolton and you've good reason to feel proud for the respect these people have for you. I join their ranks and reflect their compliments and good wishes.

Now then, this cut from your work, "breathe uncontaminated air not the staleness of status quo" rings paramount to my way of thinking as well.

Enjoy the days you are blessed with.

Here's to you and here's to me and should we ever disagree, here's to me!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

16 posted 2016-01-14 07:44 AM

It is easy to come up with sayings concerning how we should live our lives, Mr Martini, the hard part is living those sayings which will make life easier. All we can do is to do our best and hope that will be good enough. Thank you for stopping by, sir.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

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