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Next Time
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Next Time |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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the stench of garbage faint smell of Charlie perfume ice skates askew in the meandering hallway Pine Sol lingering in the dead air of the tenement dark in the corridor squalling kid somewhere cigarette smoke filtered from rooms strains of Bonanza on television all lightbulbs busted out worked to our benefit heard the swish of your nylons as you walked ahead of me seemed to know where you were going hall deadened you groped for something in the dark we quietly eased inside utility closet you reached above your head pulled the light cord would you believe it came on we fornicated by raw light later driving home I said I get to pick the place next time it's our game we're never bored ©November 6, 2015 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (11-08-2015 10:18 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2015 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Redstart Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535 |
Loved the raw power of this poem. A story of moments experienced. I've heard that swish of nylon. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Oh, and doesn't nylons make the most exquisite sound,Redstart. Thank you for your thoughts on my poem. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hi Jerry, we have to definitively pick up the place, but sometimes we don't choose the moment,so..... enjoyed reading this "crude" poem yann |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
"crude" yann? ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
opps, let say like redstart, rather raw and very descriptive yann |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
The reader got to see everything Jerry, your descriptions were perfect. One watched a film, not read the words. Well done. j. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Jimmy. What a class comment. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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