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Open Poetry #49
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Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

0 posted 2015-10-17 01:42 AM


sprinkled fragments of her love
lay strewn upon the floor

feather-dusted from the bed
the maid will come no more

darkwoods lightened from older age
and stories long since told

a figure lingers at the post
the memories leave her cold

time has taken what spirit could not
her shadows fill the room

so soft the breeze that passes now
stirring within the gloom



She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

© Copyright 2015 Danny - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2015-10-17 09:03 AM


Forlorn is the word that comes to mind when I read this.  But it is a gentle shadow you cast in this one. Well done TF! ~L
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2015-10-17 09:30 AM


Sentiments to touch the heart of all who are fortunate enough to read them. Excellent!

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
3 posted 2015-10-17 05:27 PM


Thank you so much Miss Lori and JerryPat.


88's friends

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
4 posted 2015-10-17 08:35 PM


In that my many 'critics' have said things like I only write "happy/smarmy Romanticism
and nature writes that are pseudo-sentimental syrup-dipped tripe" and that I am "addicted
to Verse Libre and allergic to rhyme and probably incompetent with traditional poetic forms" ...
Perhaps they are right?! ... anyway, I'm always glad to see someone handle rhyme well as
is evident in this 'penning!' ...

It reminds me in 'tone' of one I did (rhyme-less of course) when liver cancer took my 'significant other' :

        Lost Love

In this empty-midnight
     room
that she has left forever,
an old mirror hangs
reflecting nothing
but moonlight, loss,
and eternity.

          ---  b. e. adams jr.


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
5 posted 2015-10-17 08:57 PM


Spirit passing...that's how this makes me feel. Soft and gentle...

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
6 posted 2015-10-17 08:57 PM


quote:
"my many 'critics' have said things like I only write "happy/smarmy Romanticism
and nature writes that are pseudo-sentimental syrup-dipped tripe" and that I am "addicted
to Verse Libre and allergic to rhyme and probably incompetent with traditional poetic forms"

Wherever did you find so many critics that would say such things to you SHDP?

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
7 posted 2015-10-17 09:12 PM


Many thanks for your visit Miss Paula.


88's friend

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2015-10-19 09:51 PM


fine writing...james
Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
9 posted 2015-10-21 03:36 AM


Many thanks James.


88's friend

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
10 posted 2015-10-22 11:47 PM


Yeah, kinda floats emptiness in the air . . . enjoyed, my friend.


j.

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
11 posted 2015-10-23 01:42 AM


Many thanks for you visit Mr. Beard!

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

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