final draft: Toward Heaven's Ears

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Open Poetry #49

final draft: Toward Heaven's Ears

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2015-05-25 01:34 AM

to sing praises
sends the fluidity
of love

through one’s
heart
through one’s soul

lifting it
toward
heaven’s ears

offering it
to ease
God’s tears

for His
children
for his loved ones

handing
love’s flow
to reach His arms

of caring
of sharing
of love in return

©Virginia Salter
May 23, 2014

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

[This message has been edited by VAS (05-25-2015 10:47 AM).]

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2015-05-25 09:41 AM

what about" God transcendent", or merely "transcendence"...being transcendent, God wants us to seek and find him

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2015-05-25 10:36 AM

nice, my friend ... I more often then not pull a title from words in the piece I write . . . in this case, I like "Towards Heaven's Ears".

And as a replacement for "slake" --- I like "ease".

j.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2015-05-25 10:46 AM

Thank you both for reading and commenting.
Thanks so much j wesley for reminding me that simple language is most often the best in order to be clear as to one's meaning. Slake was so wrong as it is to satisfy, quench. To ease God's tears is really what I need there. And to choose a phrase from the poem for the title...I do that, too. Don't know why I didn't see it here. I guess because it wasn't finished and that I was considering saying "heavenward" rather than "toward heaven's ears." I will be keeping that as is and making the "ease" word change.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

4 posted 2015-05-25 07:59 PM

This holds soft beauty in healing hands
Nicely done!
~d

"..But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.."
~Emily Bronte
'The Night is Darkening Around Me'

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2015-05-26 10:32 PM

nice...james

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2015-05-26 10:36 PM

Thanks Devina and James!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

luminosity
Senior Member

since 2005-11-18

Posts 813

7 posted 2015-06-04 10:55 AM

very nice, a blessing to read

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