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Open Poetry #49
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Yin
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Yin |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia 
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. Time is running around the dial How mysterious are His ways Is it punishment or a trial? She agrees She never obeys Ice and fire, discouraging haze Turning black into white and back All looks clearer in a blaze Of one’s suffering But the dark She is stranger than God by a mile Now is bleak and tomorrow’s hidden Yet she walks with a happy smile As though it is not Hell but Eden . 06/02/2014 . |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Sounds like a bad dream...very well expressed, Gale.  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
One of your best. Short, but every line pack a hell of a punch. The ending? Superb! ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Gale, you already know what I think of this poem, but I can’t resist responding to it again. I feel the pain and suffering of the protagonist and the understanding that time is running out. I love the pondering about God’s point of view. I love the day and night comparisons of agrees/never obeys; ice/fire; black/white; white/back; blaze/dark; bleak/happy; Hell/Eden. I love the imagery of the sundial, the ice, the fire, the haze, the blaze, the dark, the hidden tomorrow, Hell and Eden. I love this jewel, in its entirety, for its art, for its content, for its structure and its compactness. I hope there will be a Yang to follow the Yin, some time. Owl |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Love the ending... sounds like a precarious walk though. There is much beneath the surface here. Michael |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
BluesSerenade, thank you for reading and your nice reply. It's reality  |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
Thank you, Jerry! The ending was the core of the poem. I remember the story about Job. He was patient but in the end he had yelled. I guess that women are different. In the beginning of evil times they feel annoyed with misfortune, but the farther it goes the more laughable it seems. I can't say for all women though ) |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
Owl, thank you again! Yes, it's contrasting, as you've noticed, but I don't know what to say about Yang. Maybe it's another kind of contradistinction. Maybe not. It's a difficult question. |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
Thank you, Michael! There is so much beneath indeed If only you saw me now... I wanted to grow my hair and asked my hairdresser to even the ends just a little, but she has done her best, and now I'm like Besson's Nikita  She's made my day. |
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Bluesy Socrateaser Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417In The Mirror |
quote: Not knowing what may come, this striking portrait of humility and strength is most profound. Well written and reflective poetry made for a pleasant reading experience. Regards from Bluesy ...just bein' Bluesy |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Powerful stuff here girly! "Now is bleak and tomorrow’s hidden Yet she walks with a happy smile As though it is not Hell but Eden" Most definitly a killer line! Very impressive. Lori |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
Bluesy, Lori, thank you both so much for reading and commenting! I'm very pleased ) |
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