Twas the night before Christmas at Balladeer's house

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2014-12-25 11:26 AM

an annual repost _ for those who don't know, Balladeer owns a pest control business - but fortunately, has no treatment for toerags...Wishing each of you a healthy, happy and prosperous holiday season and a great New Year..

Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring
(You can bet not a mouse).

Poor Balladeer,
Was all snug in his bed,
While visions of cockroaches
Danced thru his head.

Milk and cheap cookies,
Were left by the hearth,
A carton of Pepto
Case Santa should barf.

All of a sudden
He heard such a clatter,
He jumped outta bed
To see what's the matter.

Up on the rooftop,
Santa was twitching,
The reindeer were scratching,
Shaking and itching.

With Balladeer's knowledge,
And without hesitation
He knew of the answer,
A FLEA INFESTATION!!!!

He ran next store
To his sailor friend LongJohn,
Got his ex-girlfriends bathsoap,
(Walmart Diazinon)

He opened the top,
Put it on Blitzen,
On Prancer-On Dancer
And finally Vixen.

(You've heard of Vixen,
that reindeer that's blonde,
She once has this "thing"
For that sailor called LongJohn).

The reindeer felt better,
It was nearly eleven,
Santa kept itching,
"Deer" dusted with "Sevin"

Then Santa was off
Yelled over his back,
"Merry Christmas to all"
(By Mistle Toe-rag)

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2014-12-25 11:35 AM

Love the tradition - of the poem - and the banter between you guys. LOL
Merry Christmas!

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

2 posted 2014-12-25 02:27 PM

Toerag,Aways So good to see you here. I hope Romeo come back soon to read your post. Best to you for a wonderful New Year. Jo

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2014-12-25 02:58 PM

Always love the humor. Merry Christmas, Toe.
Ida

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 2014-12-25 04:36 PM

OK, big boy. Guess I have to retaliate with my Toe-carols...

(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!)

Hark! Hear Toerag spout his verse!
Fa la la la la
la la la la
Written words could not be worse
Fa la la la la
la la la la
Watch him butcher grammar, too.
He's a poet? No one knew!!!
He's the King of Ballyhoo..
Fa la la la la
la lalala.

(I saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Toerag on a date last night.
Sally Brown could not be more distressed!
She didn't see him peep
At her boobies - little creep!
He told her his demeanor
Was gentle as a sheep!
Then I saw Toerag try to kiss her neck
Buckteeth made her cry out at his bite!
Oh, what a sorry sight it was -
Her neck wrapped up in gauze
As Toerag blew another date last night!!

(Silent Night)

Silent Toe
Quiet Toe
Something we'll
Never know.
Lips that flap with the greatest of ease
Words that kill like a deadly disease
Mouth that never will die
Toerag can make the girls cry.

(We Three Kings of Orient Are)

We three kings - 'deer, LongJohn and Toe
Fight all day, as all of you know.
Peals of laughter
We are after
So we go on with the show.

oh.....oh...

John's a sailor...he's all right
Though the man is not too bright
Toe's a demon - always schemin'
Balladeer is the white night.

We three kings - Toe, LongJohn and 'deer
Found a home and we like it here.
Hug and kiss us or you'll miss us
Don't let us disappear....

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2014-12-25 05:08 PM

Smiling at you two...Merry Christmas to all!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2014-12-25 06:11 PM

Joy to the world
The boys are here
Let all of PIP rejoice!
With wars of funny words
They often are absurd
But all of us enjoy
As comedy's employed -
Toerag and Deer are here - where's Long John's voice?

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2014-12-25 06:55 PM

Ha, this was a fun thread and brought smiles

and also joy for Toe, Balladeer and Suthern showed up, juhuu ... LongJohn's ears must have caught the message. He may be on his way!

Merry Christmas to all.

Margherita

Redstart
Senior Member

since 2014-05-16

Posts 535

8 posted 2014-12-25 09:16 PM

There's some personal banter that I'll never get, but did it make me laugh? You bet!

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

9 posted 2014-12-26 12:50 PM

Yes these three used to keep us all in laughter. Good to see it once again.Thanks Toe and Mike, jo

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

10 posted 2014-12-27 07:23 PM

Har Har har...
gotta love the good ol' bad boys.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2014-12-28 07:49 PM

So good to see the boys on the holidays...let's visit more in 2015 guys. We are all in need of a hearty chuckle!

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

12 posted 2014-12-28 07:57 PM

too much of a good thing? NON!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

13 posted 2015-01-20 08:40 PM

Two of my favorite poets ever. Thank you for the walk down memory lane. lol

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.