»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #49
»
The Finish Line
| Open Poetry #49 |
|
The Finish Line |
|
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
|
The Finish Line I do not trust the morning sun To remove chills from my cold skin. And yet I stand, all chances run, To cross her line, yet never win. The race lifelong, the dreams piled high, I carried them upon my back. Yet now, with naught left but to die, See them as markers for my lack. The lack of smiles, time spent alone. The lack of trust, a wounded soul. Plethoras of sin to atone, Where only I could pay such toll. Yet if it’s hell that waits on me, (A man who’s paid most every price), Let all the gathered crowd then see ‘Tis here I’ll find my paradise. Silence, itself, a monument; I wade her cold, suffering state Paying all homage to Lament. She’s closer now, yet still I wait. Michael Anderson 11/29/2014 |
||
| © Copyright 2014 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
You have raised remorse and lament and put it on a pedestal of perfection.  |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
She is the theme and consciousness of the majority of your poetry, Michael. I know she is the price of paradise when you are joined together with her at at last. If they give you ruled paper write sideways. |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Michael, I have read this twice and I sit here in awe at your ability to w write your deepest feelings using only words. My heart goes out to you again because I know other real good men who carry your same burdens. No need to do so, but you do. Best to you, Jo |
||
|
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"Paying all homage to Lament. She’s closer now, yet still I wait." Reminds me of the look on the face of a friend of mine in a VA hospital. A heart-twisting read. JL |
||
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Yeah, all the above, man . . . all the above, and peace in my wishes ... walk easy, j. |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I think you touch even God's heart with your remorseful, sad poem, because you bare your soul and its deep longing for forgiveness and wholeness. Very poignant and poetically excellent. Hell? Eternal condemnation? Things that are not in harmony with the Divine Plan of Mercy ... Love and peace. Margherita |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh my Michael... how wonderful to read you again. I've been away far too long. That being said, here is how I took your poem...I shall run, though not plan to win...for if I cross the line...I shall run again. Smiling with you. yeah, I saw it break for a moment.... Merry Christmas, Michael. |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Yeah, I'll admit K... but I'm still cursing you under my breath putting it there. Michael |
||
|
Redstart Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535 |
The quality of the poetry is the highest. The pathos within is palpable. To even consider Hell as moving to a paradise gives such a tormented outlook on life. Forgive me this: you need to go easier on yourself. |
||
|
bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
Niiiice. |
||
|
Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
Michael, I love your poem and can relate to. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
