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Open Poetry #48

Everything

Elric
Junior Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 43
southbend, WA

0 posted 2012-04-29 10:22 PM

There are many things out there
they seem to be everywhere
I like many of them
it is not just a whim.

They seem to surround me
just wanting my attention to be
on them. All I can see is you,
it makes them all so blue.

Nothing can compare so
they all should beware
you mean more to me
than anything else could be.

You are everything
I would give anything
for you to smile
if only for a while.

If only I could show you
how much you seem to glow
you might begin to see
what you mean to me.

dreamgal
Member

since 2011-03-17

Posts 442

1 posted 2012-04-29 10:33 PM

Very painfully said i could feel the sadness in this. Good job on this.

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

2 posted 2012-04-29 11:24 PM

I agree with dreamgal...so much pain here...well written

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

3 posted 2012-04-30 01:53 AM

Bluesy lyrical write with emotions exposed so well.
Good writing!

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2012-04-30 05:57 AM

To pine away for someone who won't give you the time of day is a horrible feeling.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Elric
Junior Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 43
southbend, WA

5 posted 2012-05-01 10:36 PM

Thank you for the comments, I now know that this needs revised.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2012-05-09 01:38 AM

Nice...James

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