»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #48
»
Open Window
| Open Poetry #48 |
|
Open Window |
|
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
|
I sit here by this open window, gazing at the street light's shimmering rays A gentle wind blows through the curtans, they flutter softly in the evening breeze. I think about all the times I gave my desire to the next tomorrow of love, thinking it would be the one that lasts. I think about the positive infatuation of starting over. I think about the fact I never really wanted to hurt anyone. I think about the fact that I'm so outwardly friendly Yet, I'm a lie to myself, all the while I enjoy the buzz. I want so much to be loved yet, my gaurd is high, my own insecurity drowning in a bubble bath of pretense. I want to take and then give at my convenience, oh worship me, then I'll make it right for you. By this open window in the evening breeze, I try to be honest with myself, my heart cries I'm so proud inside that I can't let go, I can't be truthfully loved and easily accept. Yet, this time there was more than the usual, there was the unexplainable bond of your innocence, you gave everything to me, your triumphs your secrets, you were the sweet flowing river of acceptance, me and all my baggage, you came and you hoped, you loved, you opened your inner being to my pretense, but my insoluable arrogance of protection, kept me from finding the only lasting treasure on earth, open undeniable, willingness to love me for what I am I sit here now realizing that for the first time in my life, I've lost forever, the only happiness I could ever realize has left me by this open window wishing I wasn't really me. The tears of my own rusted heart have finally broken through. true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
| © Copyright 2012 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
oh Eric this is heartbreaking! Beautifully blue! Lori  |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Lori. I appreciate those words. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
Eric...My heart reaches out to you...I know those tears and pain so well...also remember that love has a magic that can wipe away tears from the soul...you are a sweet man who is too hard on himself...cried for you...HUGS |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Karen You're a very kind person. This is reminiscing the past and like the song says, regrets, I have a few but these days I really am in love with the romance of life. Many thanks Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
BRAVO!!! ME TOO |
||
|
Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Poignant...yet that 'open window' speaks of a hope not dead A |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
...smile... you're still the sweet person we all knew around here before and I wish you the best always. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you A Yes, you're right, we learn our lessons the hard way sometimes. Thanks so much for the read and the comment. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
WoW! Eric, I could've written that and it would have been just as true for me as it is for you. My life has been filled with good woman (most of them) trying their darnedest to deal with and conqueror all my insecurities. It was impossible, and after awhile they understood that impossibility and moved on, or rather I left. Yes. I'm proud of you that you got it out. It has to be told. I have been telling my tale of wretchedness for a couple of decades, and I finally found a place of forgiveness; me forgiving myself because it wasn't fair to keep beating myself up, when the man I am now is nothing like the man I was back then. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
You got it right on Jerry! Had tons of love in me but couldn't get it out right. These days, got a beautiful wife, beautiful daughter with a beautiful grandson and it's flowing now, I could always write about the most tender love in the world just like I wanted it to be, but living it and especially showing it, was another matter. Mother and father split when I was young and developed in me a lack of trust in the arrangement. Could always love my grandfather and grandmother as they tenderly brought me up for many years. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
dreamgal Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442 |
This was a great write enjoyed it very much. [This message has been edited by dreamgal (04-27-2012 11:50 PM).] |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you dreangal I appreciate those words very much. Eric |
||
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Sometimes seeing oneself for oneself is hard to do, but so enlightening once one does... enjoyed. j. |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Yep, that's definitely the way it is and as imperfect humans we don't tend to see ourself in a bad light. Thanks for the read and the comment. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I think we all sit by that open window thinking similar thoughts, Eric. You express those thoughts so well. Ida |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Ida I guess we all do at different levels. I appreciate the read and the comments. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A bucket full of heartbreak here with some remorse mixed in...life is choices made and choices to make...James |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Yep, a full bucket to say the least. I appreciate the visit and the comment James. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Thank you for writing a heartfelt and honest poem. It touched me. ms. e |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you for reading this, ms. e I appreciate the comment. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
There's a lot to love about this-- the first two lines, for example? You wrote my silhouette. But what really caught my attention was the repetition of "I think" "I think" "I think" because that is exactly what I do. Or what I'd do. If I had a penis. <--give us a kiss. |
||
|
MICHELMAS Member
since 2012-02-15
Posts 305Lancashire England |
'A gentle wind blows through the curtains they flutter softly in the evening breeze' Many a time I listen to the breeze and the memories therein. An excellent write like a window to your soul Michael. |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Serenity alias Celeste. ...smile...I wonder where that little orange haired flower is these days.....LOL! I'm happy you dropped in and read this. We all think deeply sometimes with or without portfolio....smile....you're one of the best! I know if I answered all those ads that keep coming to me via the internet promising to lengthen or enlarge my penis then I'd be able to go out as a gas pump on Halloween....... Hang in there kid we love ya! Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks for thwe visit Michael. That was the intention window to my soul so I'm happy you saw it that way. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"I've lost forever, the only happiness I could ever realize has left me by this open window wishing I wasn't really me. The tears of my own rusted heart have finally broken through." my favorite lines... (sometimes I sit by that window) and after reading all your responses, I feel happy that your life has made you realize that being "you" was not such a terrible thing after all. Wishing you much joy today and always... M |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Maureen. I appreciate that thoughtful response and thanks for the well wishes. Take care Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
ah, an open heart doth make for wonderful poetry, much enjoyed the read |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you luminosity I appreciate that reply. true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I want so much to be loved yet, my gaurd is high, my own insecurity drowning in a bubble bath of pretense. Your words are so intensely personal... and yet many of us find ourselves at that window with you. Wonderful work! |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Suthern Thanks for that comment and for the visit. I always appreciate your visits very much. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
