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Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2012-04-25 10:15 PM

.

like skeins of warm taffy,
works pale fingers

through tassles
of douglas fir
and cedar.

Your eyes, still slack.

Your pillow, deep.

With every shout, the crow
announces your laziness:

Get up, the hens
peck the earth, and
one another

waiting for you.
Up,

the tiger lilies
swallow the sun

and I have found the neighbor's dog
soft and dead, beside
the gravel drive.

.

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

1 posted 2012-04-25 11:00 PM

So powerfull and sad...well written...

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

2 posted 2012-04-25 11:09 PM

Thanks, Startime

Yes, I meant what the crow would be saying as a 'good' (for him) morning

A

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2012-04-25 11:51 PM

I wasn't ready for the ending. Well written but so sad.
Ida

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

4 posted 2012-04-26 12:08 PM

Thank you, Ida ...I'm actually glad it surprised you

Best,
Amaryllis

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

5 posted 2012-04-26 12:17 PM

Well done, sad, a bit of a reality jolt.
Ms. E

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

6 posted 2012-04-26 12:19 PM

Thank you, ms. E

A

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2012-04-26 09:36 AM

Stunning bit of poetry, simple, earthy, and a bit of surprise.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2012-04-26 07:26 PM

Those early morning word pictures are quite exquisite to the images they portray.
That ending threw me for a loop and I didn't expect it even though the crow line was in there.
Been many times the crows have been cawing on the morning air when I awoke.
Maybe I'm off track.....smile....The main thing is I really enjoyed the read.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

9 posted 2012-04-27 12:30 PM

Thank you, Jerry, and Eric...starting to feel like perhaps I should apologize for the darkness of this piece! Lol I truly didn't mean to shock or offend or sadden dog lovers...just being bald with the honesty of nature...

Thanks again, all

Amaryllis

luminosity
Senior Member

since 2005-11-18

Posts 813

10 posted 2012-05-02 02:14 PM

omg I love the way you write! it makes me miss writing...*shakes head and sighs*

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