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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2013-02-02 08:08 AM

in an empty room
hot chocolate gives off steam
unaware; alone

Â©February 1, 2013 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

1 posted 2013-02-02 08:16 AM

Hot chocolate sounds good Jerry. I only make it for my grand children though. Im sitting alone in my computer room and my husband is alone in the garage smoking ha..

~Victoria

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
Confucius

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2013-02-02 08:47 AM

Banished to the outer reaches of the house with that stink weed, huh, Victoria? Sure happy I quit smoking, I wouldn't be here to talk about it if I hadn't. Thank you for being here with me.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2013-02-02 10:45 AM

Ooh, I like this very much. I had quite forgotten about senryu. Could you go over the parameters for me. I only remember using it over haiku so I wouldn't get comments that my last line voided the ability to correctly call my attempt at an haiku.

I know the syllable count is the same; is that the only criteria.

I so like your image...it speaks of quiet solitude as well as loneliness to which one does not always bring the other.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2013-02-02 11:08 AM

Haiku is strictly about nature,VAS, and Senryu is about anything else. You are correct, 5-7-5 is the correct syllable count. Thank you for stopping by and reading and commenting on my poetry . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

5 posted 2013-02-02 10:37 PM

Excellent write, JP2.
You make it so simple even I can understand.
Enjoyed, bro.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

6 posted 2013-02-03 12:55 PM

Nice one Jerry.

I must take a reprieve from sonnets and write other stuff too...lol.

CG

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2013-02-03 07:44 AM

JL,Sure good to see you. Thank you for the upbeat comment . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2013-02-03 07:46 AM

Thanks CG. I like to wander in and out of the forms from times to time. Appreciate the time you spent with me . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

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