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Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

0 posted 2013-01-03 08:25 PM

I only want you to like me

So I can,
ignore you

I only want you
to care,
because
I don’t

Your thoughts will
simply,
just never matter

This world was really,
just made
for me

I’ll never want,
someone
who wants me

I only want,
the ones
who don’t

And when I search,
for that,
one person

Just know
that I
won’t be prepared

It doesn’t matter,
if I hurt you

It doesn’t matter
if
you cry

I guess that’s what,
I’ve always
wanted

For the cast,
to never
die

Beauty is,
the mask of pain

That scars the front,
of both my
faces

Bitter flaws
that flood the
canyon

Leaving traces,
of regret

Drowning deep,
my crippled
soul

Reddened waters,
eyes,
a weep

A satchel
lost,
of bloodless
hope

A torture that knows
where,
I sleep

Engulfed
by tears,
that turned
to pebbles

How come people
go away

I never
got,
to say
I love you

Why does anybody
pray

I should have
seen,
your smoky spiral

Circle up,
to meet the
sky

I’m trying not
to drink,
the suffering

That can quench,
my sense
of will

But punishment,
is all
that chokes

The anger
that,
I need to swill

I’ve been trying
to deny

These wounds
for much
too far and long

The harder that
I climb
the mourning

The more the
raise,
sear through
my eyes

Be glad for all
the times
of
laughter

Is what people,
always
say

Never mind
that all
tomorrows

Find it harder,
now to stay

The line for
some
that separates

The darkness

From the light

Will always be
the sharpened
width

Of any
knife,
in sight

Thankfully
the sword
I use

Has ink,
instead of steel

One more day,
how missing you

Is making
my life,
feel

Sitting here
beside the
fire

With my heart
in hand,
bereft

Burning twigs
and branches full,
of leave
before they’ve even
left
In Memoriam to My Dear Brother’s Ron and Bob, Who Passed Away Last Year

[This message has been edited by Richy (01-03-2013 09:02 PM).]

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

1 posted 2013-01-03 08:52 PM

I'm so sorry you lost your brothers last year. That must be hard losing two in the same year.I also have two siblings that have past on. Thank you for posting and we are all here for you.

~Victoria

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

2 posted 2013-01-03 08:54 PM

Thank you Victoria, that means a lot, bless you.

Parts of the beginning of this piece were meant to describe the agony of losing a loved one. Thank you.

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

3 posted 2013-01-04 10:11 PM

I am at a loss for words after reading you lost two brothers. After my daughter took her life at age 36, two of her siblings told me within a week that they wished to do the same as they were hurting. The words they shared with me then were more than I could bare. I understand your hurt but I also learned all we could do was to go on with life to be able to help the others. (((huggs))) jo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2013-01-04 11:33 PM

Richy, I'm so sorry for your loss my friend. I know it's hard. The poem just had my mouth hanging open...

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

5 posted 2013-01-05 04:27 AM

Oh dear Jo I am soo sorry to hear about your daughter and then two of her siblings suffering so much over it as well, my heart truly does go out to you, I cant even begin to imagine how devastating that would be.

Yes, my first brother Ron passed away on Christmas Eve last year and my brother Bob (they were both twins a year older than me) passed away on the fourth of july, which is also my mother’s birthday. It almost sounds stranger than fiction still. This Christmas eve last month was the anniversary of my brother Ron’s death and I’m barely coming to terms with it enough to barely put into words what this all means to me. I’ll just be going about my normal routine when all of a sudden something will remind me of them and it feels like someone hit me in the face with a bat and im four years old again waiting for them outside to come running home from kindergarten so that we can all play together again. The worst part is that they moved out of state so long ago and I didn’t get to see them that much over the last two decades as their lives, and health, deteriorated. I’m a different person now. This has changed how I look at things and even my own time here left, as it should. It’s a hard thing to realize that that’s it, that never again will we be able to sit around and share all the memories of our lives together, or tell each other, if even not in words, how much we care for one another. I’m sorry for rambling on, but I really haven’t had anyone to talk to about this, and so, well, I guess im just getting a little bit of that weight off my chest right now. I’ll be fine though. This will just be another part of me. We are all made up of those for whom we care about though aren’t we. Blessings to you Jo for sharing your thoughts and concerns, I and my whole family really appreciate that.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

6 posted 2013-01-05 04:30 AM

Thank you very much Dixie, that means a lot to me. (((Bless you)))

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2013-01-05 10:18 AM

"Thankfully
the sword
I use

Has ink,
instead of steel"

Richy, your words touch me deeply. And I am so glad that you are using your words to share your loss and grief. It is not true that time heals all wounds, but time does bring up the good memories to help relieve the pain of loss.

Wishing you a calm and caring year ahead.

M

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

8 posted 2013-01-05 11:24 AM

Ohh Maureen its so nice to hear from you again.. thanks so much for saying that time doesnt heal, every, wound.. some wounds it can surely help, others not. And thank you sincerely for taking the time to drop in and give me some comfort.. you're a real sweetheart..

I hope things are going well with you too.. the folks at pip miss you here, and so do I

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

9 posted 2013-01-05 01:59 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this, Richy.
May you find peace in the memories you shared.

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

10 posted 2013-01-05 04:23 PM

I am very disheartened to hear of this double sorrow. It appears to truly be too much to bear, as much as I can comprehend, but yet hope to never be able to for my own selfish reasons.
I can only wish you peace, somehow through writing, I believe you must feel some relief, and pray you do.
Your words truly reach.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

11 posted 2013-01-06 05:59 PM

Thanks so much Lori, I really appreciate it.. Bless you

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

12 posted 2013-01-06 06:02 PM

I really appreciate that Emma, yes any kind of communication surely helps.. blessings to you, so glad to see you here, thanks again..

take care of you

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