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Hitman612s
Junior Member

since 2010-01-27

Posts 11
Illinois,

0 posted 2012-12-07 01:35 PM

EVEN WHEN WE’RE OLD
By: Dan Hitner

I remember when we were kids, you and me against it all.
You were always the strong one and would never let me fall.
Not my brother but you were. I know you understand.
At such a young age you were forced to be a man.
Your dad busy at work and your mom busy with the bottle.
You hit the streets hard with a wide-open throttle.
I always looked up to you and felt safe with you around,
even though sometimes you would try and push me down.
Not to be cruel but to teach me to fight,
you kinda saw me as soft and in a way you were right.
You told me secrets that I’ve never told
I will always love you cuz

EVEN WHEN WE’RE OLD

Things started to change so I had to move away
I knew it was for the best but I wanted to stay.
You started to grow cold.I could see it your eyes
You were pushing me away and telling everyone lies
The streets had a hold and wouldn’t let go
You weren’t the same kid that I use to know.
I started to blame my self for not trying harder to help
I don’t know if you ever knew all the pain I felt.
I tried to fight for you but you would never let me in
It was now you against it all and you had to win.
Despite all the changes and not knowing what the future holds
I will always love you cuz

EVEN WHEN WE’RE OLD

Many years have past and now you write me from a cell
All you have is time and you’re living a real life hell
I don’t write as much as I should, but just know I think of you every day
I feel like I owe you the world and have so much to say
You protected me from your life style. Its all clear to me now
You wanted to show you cared and did it the only way you knew how.
I’m living life for the both of us, I wish you could see
I miss my damn cousin and wish you were here with me
I’ll be visiting you soon. So my son can see Uncle Chris
I’ll tell him the good stuff because that’s the stuff I miss.
You’ve done some bad things but you have a good soul.
I will always love you cuz,

EVEN WHEN WE’RE OLD

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

1 posted 2012-12-07 01:43 PM

You haven't posted much here at Pip nor have I. I feel the position you are in now and I agree, he left you behind to save you.There are times when we have to let go and often it hurts to do it. But he is reaching out and I understand your need to show you still care and carry good memories.It is never too late and maybe it is his time.Good luck. jo AND if this story is not about you and you buddy, but someone else.It is still worthy of posting.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

2 posted 2012-12-07 09:39 PM

I really like the story here, it's energetic and real and the meter carries it along at a fast clip. I felt like the meter bogged down a bit in the last stanza, but still a very good read.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2012-12-08 12:04 PM

Oh man Dan, this hit home. A wonderful tribute to your cousin. I hope your visits are great and that you share this with him. It's too damn easy to lose yourself on the inside without someone on the outside help you remember just who you are. Not were, ARE. Let him know you remember.

Michael

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

4 posted 2012-12-08 08:36 AM

Your poem touched my heart with joy and
sadness. Very well done... wishing all the best.
Ms. E

Hitman612s
Junior Member

since 2010-01-27

Posts 11
Illinois,

5 posted 2012-12-09 05:02 PM

Thanks guys. This was definitely a hard one to write. My cousin has been locked up since he was 17, which was 10 years ago. He defintely deserved to do time for his crime but between his court appointed attorney and a judge that new him, he was sentenced to 154 years. No he did not kill or hurt anyone. He was a kid with a good heart that was corrupted by lack of parenting and hanging out with the wrong people. I write him to keep him strong mentally. This was something I sent him a few days ago.

Amberzlynnc
Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 229
New Jersey

6 posted 2012-12-09 08:36 PM

This poem is so real, and I don't get the feeling it was forced- you weren't sitting there racking your brain in what words to use that would rhyme or how to fit the meter perfectly- it just came out.

Now, I don't know for sure that you were not stressing over these things, but it definitely seems natural.

Thank you for sharing this deep, emotional, beautiful poem.

-Amber

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