Open Poetry #48 |
maniacs mantra |
Ethern Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 150on a plane |
drums pound proudly thundering rhythm in the rain. violins are weeping loudly mourning dirges out in pain. waltzing slowly to the tempo of a melody ingrained is the piper with his piccolo pitched perfectly in vain. this dance is of delirium devised to entertain delusions of hysteria: madness to maintain. marking time, musicians keep the cadence now, insane: to and fro and one and two: the harmony to feign. [This message has been edited by Ethern (11-06-2012 01:13 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2012 Derrick E. Gillum - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady Goodman Member
since 2012-10-04
Posts 193 |
I enjoyed this very much. It captured the quality of non-existent existence that is felt during such promenades. I have trouble with titles too--and this is a meager offering, but I thought perhaps, "Rite of Passage" as it evokes both worldly tributes. Your words reminded me much of a jazz funeral. I thought it nicely done, but I did not agree with the malevolence indicated. So good luck with that, and don't forget to put red brick dust on your doorstep! |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Enjoyed reading and it made me feel like dancing. ~V~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Strange poetry, it made me want to do both laugh and dance and sob and cringe. The quote below is the jest of the poem, and even there i can't grab hold of the reason. Maybe there is no reason. It was definitely a good poem to read, I kept wanting to pat my feet. quote: ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Ah, well done. I can hear the false euphoria, the frantic reaching for excitement. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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