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Open Poetry #48
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Fallen
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Fallen |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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 Uploaded with ImageShack.us she plucked the fruit from the tree that tree she had a quiet smile on her face she bit into it juice dribbled down her chin she held out the fruit to me I, too, bit down on the forbidden she took it from me leaned into me and fastened her lips onto mine it was an elaborate kiss nothing, not even the wonderful taste of the fruit was as pleasingly sweet as was her kiss it took my breath from me and . . . as we continued exploring our bodies selling our souls to damnation and hell-fire below I stepped back and called to our maker hoping he would confirm and be pleased with our love but no our maker was in a madding rage he succumbed to a hissing fit we found that we cared not about his peevishness I said, Eve, come lie beside me and be prepared to receive rapture in paradise tonight ©August 24, 2012 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (08-25-2012 06:57 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2012 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..i like the finesse with which you finish off the poem, Jerry..enjoyed ..spiros |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, spiros, for being here and for reading and commenting on my poem,, it is greatly appreciated. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (08-26-2012 12:45 PM).] |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Our maker's... peevishness.... I especially like that one. Its cool the way you retold the story.... like nobody else can! Gold star on this one! Lori  |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Enjoyed the read, Jerry. It seems that "rapture in paradise" has replaced a lot of more meaningful things these days but, that being said, I think we were perhaps designed to enjoy that rapture as an addition rather than a replacement. Helen |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Gosh, that's some topic, Jerry! You have created your own paradise. All that comes from Love should bring glory to the Heavens ... so how can we come to terms with "damnation" and such? Good one. Margherita |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I'll accept that gold star and thank you for it, Lori. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Helen, I heard somewhere that God gave us sex as a reward for the fact that we understand that we are going to die. Don't think I worded that quite right, but it is the gist of it. Thank you for being here. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I don't think we come to terms with Margherita. I think we stay away from that subject. Thank you for your comments. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
*grin*...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Heehee . . . Karen . . . (((((BIG HUG BACK))))) ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Rapture in paradise ... You go on with yo bad self! Ms. E |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Gotta love it, Ms. E, and I'm as bad as I have to be, ain't dat da truff? ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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