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Open Poetry #48
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Blackwater
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Blackwater |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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hands closed around the paper sack in his lap the old man frowned cocked his head listened to voices from the past with a full-faced grimace opened the sack unscrewed the top of warm sweet wine brought it to his mouth drank with determination always did when those voices spoke screwed the cap back on the bottle smiled a snaggle-tooth grin closed his eyes letting warm sweet wine do its thing wasn't long he was thinking of her a woman from the past aren't all women women from the past he sighed thought of Blackwater a tear made progress within the wrinkles etched on his face tragically beautiful Lycia and Blackwater why is it that the desire in man always begin with the desire of another's desire and so was his desire for Lycia a May-September romance the old man stared into the shadows looking for truth deathly afraid of finding it closed his eye tipped the warm sweet wine toward his mouth trying to obliterate her face knowing from past experiences you can't coax clarity from the shadows and you can't drink away faces truth was his dismay it was during the persimmon smells of summer the two lovers secretly met lust and desire overcame reason and pride she belonged to another man the old man's brother blood kin almost incestuous the moon, a harvest one much like tonight they were making love inside The Blackwater Motel when the room's door was kicked off its hinges the cuckold husband emptied his gun bleeding out two cheaters she died the old man didn't he absent-mindedly touched the places where bullets pierced his skin he has lived with the memory far too long three people went room temperature that night Lycia died instantly his brother reloaded; took his life killing the soul of the old man he sighed turned up the warm sweet wine ©January 1, 2012 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2012 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
And this is why those novels you write are unforgetable my friend...powerful stuff indeed. Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
That is sweet of you to say, Lori, and thank you. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow... Sad and powerful story with alot of fundamental truths woven into it. Desire in man always begins with the desire of another's desire. You can't coax clarity from shadow. Great write, JP. Michael |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Michael, for liking my poem. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
knowing from past experiences you can't coax clarity from the shadows and you can't drink away faces Oh, how very true!! This is a gripping tale... I knew it had to end sadly but was still holding my breath as I read!!! Great write! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Yeah, life is sad at times, suthern. This one is almost Gothic sad. My mind does delve into the macabre at times. Thank you for being here. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Only the greatest tragedies are born out of Love for someone else. So sad, so poignant... |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
You are so right, Nicole. We do the nuttiest things in the name of love. Thanks for stopping by, good to see you. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wow, made me sad, and so thankful for the life I've had... excellent write, drew me in...and kept me there |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wow, made me sad, and so thankful for the life I've had... excellent write, drew me in...and kept me there |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
That is a nice feeling you expressed about my poem. Thank you, LeeJ ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Very interesting write, that title had me thinking something else. What a great tragic story, much to glean from this. Enjoyed!! JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
JL, you were probably thinking of the civilian group who hires out to fight in conflicts, JL. Appreciate your comments. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh wow! very vivid, I was there, I was alongside the old man and in the room when they were lovers, felt the pain of the gunshots and the lover betrayed. Magnificent piece of writing Jerry, thanks for sharing Love is the life of the soul... |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
When we write our little poems, we hope that people will share some of the emotion we have put into them. It seems that you, dear tracie66, have done just that with this piece. Thank you very much. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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