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Open Poetry #48
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Invincible
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Invincible |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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Invincible Yesterday I was invincible. Today, I'm just a man. Somehow, still of same principle, It's a pretty simple plan. Though there's two shadows behind me, My speed, it shall not increase... It's not what you take, but give, kindly, After all that gives you peace. Yes, today I am just a man, Tomorrow, a memory. But I know I've loved you all I can, Though you no longer smile for me; It's if you still smile at all, The only thought that pains me... Were one to look behind this wall Of silence that restrains me. Tomorrow, but a memory, ‘Twas long ago I was forgotten; And, by all accounts, biasly, To this world misbegotten... I've trudged this road the best I can, And though, all my life, I've striven To do my best by my fellow man; I die now, unforgiven. Yes, though long ago I was forgotten, Yesterday I was invincible. Still, it's strange how love turns a man rotten From the inside, in fact, it's cruel! So I close my eyes, no hesitation For blame and guilt I've worn like a crown... I simply smile for the cessation Of crosses no longer weighing me down. Michael Anderson 6/01/2012 |
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| © Copyright 2012 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I'm happy that the crosses are not weighing you down, Michael, that makes me feel good. The rest of the "putting down Michael" poem I withhold comments on. Actually I will say this, when are you going to man up and quit your crying? That was said with love in my heart, man. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (06-14-2012 06:05 PM).] |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
Time to leave blame and guilt behind and see the good of yourself...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great summation of life from positive and negative poles of reflection. However, many young men have worn the invincible armour only to find out later they're vulnerable and standing on feet of clay. Excellent writing! Se well put together. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Jerry, my father taught me when I was 5 that "a man" always faces his enemies, and never stops fighting, unfortunately, he passed before my questions on this perception were even clear to me. My life has proven to me, over and over it seems, that some enemies bear no face and have no name. Disthymia, which at least does have a name, if not a face was the first. It iis a form of depression where one suffers the lows of a manic depressive, but never the highs. I was diagnosed with this at a very early age. "A complete inability to feel joy" is the definition my doctor gave me, and it is quite accurate. Without throwing excuses I can honestly tell you for me, poetry is an expression of emotion. I cannot write what I simply cannot feel. I don't have to look in the mirror to know I write the whiniest poetry of them all, so I don't question your response there at all, but I do kind of wonder why you gave it to me on this particular poem? Perhaps some fault lies with me for not being able to interact on these boards as much as I'd like to... but even then, I learned a little thing called caution when my personal life became a public catastrophy in 2000 on these very forums. I usually don't elaborate on my poetry, for each reader is entitled to whatever emotion they draw from it, but I will make an exception here. This poem is about acceptance to me... About facing another faceless enemy that is literally stealing my consciousness and memories a little bit more, everyday. I can't fight that... heck, the doctors can't even name it. Part of manning up, for me anyhow, is knowing it's ok to admit defeat. I'm tired, Jerry, both physically and mentally. I have no doubt I will not survive this... at leastwith brain function in tact, and I will not be kept alive by machines. Everyone has there own perception of what being a man entails. I think, for me, Rudyard Kipling says it best in his "If" poem. Again, that's just my personal opinion. I in no way judge you or others by their opinions. We all live in the same world... but we all live in very different worlds too. One has to make allowances. What's right for me doesn't have to be right for everyone... this, too,is part of my belief of what being a man entails. All of that being said, I will give one last disclaimer... For years my poetry sat in a drawer and I never let anyone read it. Mostly because of just how whiney and dark most of it is. That changed for me when I met a man named Ron Carnell, who personally invited me to Passions. He taught me that many, many people share and identify with the emotion I put into writing, and that, in fact, I am not alone in these feelings. Many people have told me I have given voice to what they, themselves could never express. If the rest of the world feels this way even briefly, then moves to a better place, well they probably don't know just how lucky they are. I, on the other hand, have at least found acceptance and a home here, and am happy to be a voice for others who relate to me emotionally. So now I ask you, would it be right or manly, or for that matter even healthy to bottle up what I truly feel and paint a prettier Michael picture for the world to appreciate? I tried that once before and it didn't work out so well. Some glasses are half full, some half empty... then some are broke in the package and never hold water at all. Please just know I am content in mind with where I am in life and I write dark poetry because it relieves me of that darkness, for a little while anyway. I know you spoke from love and concern, Jerry. I thank you for that. I love you, too, man. Believe me, I've worried over some of your posts as well. Would love to relax with you over a beer sometime and share some stories. I say the Serenity prayer everyday. It's Me that I can't change, though... and if I can't,after all the time and effort I've spent trying, well, just forgive me if I can't see anyone else being able toto make that change for me... or having some magical remedy I have not yet discovered.  Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Eric, Startime1955, thank you for the kind replies. I'm glad you enjoyed. Michael |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
You continue to write your poetry, Michael. I will continue to listen in, hear your words, feel your thoughts and send you Blessings. Ms. E |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I have been duly chastised. I accept it. I wrote a poem today. I was going to post it, but after reading your comment back to me I will just put it here and that will be it. To Michael Anderson, Poet Within your darkened lines, Poet, You take it all on with your grit. Embittered and seething o'er wrongs, You write your poems like a song. Life has been very harsh to you, Its almost been more than you can chew. You use your poems to fight back, We have seen you on full attack. But still the scratching of the pen, Lends itself to self chastisement. Then so very much that you dislike, You've been done wrong, so back you strike. We read your words and comment too, We feel the things you've gone through. For your quill puts us there each time, We know this mountain you must climb. Friend, we are firmly on your side, We wish you goodness and high tide. You're righting the wrongs by your words, Hope you don't think I'm being absurd. ©June 15, 2012 / Jerry Pat Bolton P.S.: I didn't know about all the physical and mental problems you had over the years, I just knew about love lost. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I am deeply moved by your reply, Jerry. I have often stated that, as a writer, the greatest compliment is knowing your work has inspired others to write. I think you might have proved that accessment at least a little inacurate with your poem here, being written directlytowards the man, and not any of his works individually. What I am trying to say is: Thank you. Both for the wonderful tribute, and for seeing the man behind the words. Michael |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
You are welcome. Sorry this became what it is. I do have a big mouth. I can't out and out apologize, Michael, because what I said that started all this was said without the knowledge that you put into your comment back. The poem was written before I read the comment. Anyway, sorry it happened. Now I know. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wow Michael! That is really the emotional essence of honesty and I respect you for those words to Jerry in your reply. Your willingness to expose your feelings makes for the real existence which so many could be happy with if they could only treat it as a challenge. Wish you the best even though it's an internet connection there's elements of truth and integrity that can't be denied. Just came back in to add to this. I have always felt that because we all contend with feelings of sadness occasionally, we could conclude that we understand what depression is all about. I don't think we have a clue, really it's a sad conclusion as humans when we can't put our finger on the pulse of the problem. I've always liked the hope for the future the Bible extends at Revelation 21: 3, 4 Please excuse my intrusion on this conversation. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests [This message has been edited by ethome (06-17-2012 06:10 PM).] |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Eric, your point of view is always welcome in any of my posts and/or replies. Revelation 21:3&4 is a great reference btw. Thank you. Here's a little poem I wrote back in 99 from the Main Passion's page about depression. It is even hard for one who suffers from it daily to describe, but I gave it my best. Michael LIFE'S EPIC BATTLE (For Anyone Who Has Ever Suffered Depression) With crystal clear alacrity, I wake to the onrush of self pity. Gathering gumption, I stand to fight, All the strength of a porcelain knight. Grasping the lance of frail truth, Fragmented dreams of distraught youth. Donning the shield of denial, A helmet with a painted smile. Bearing, proud, the breastplate of shame. I willfully mount the steed, untame; Holding high, for all to see, the crest Of broken dreams clung to in jest. Gallantly, I charge into the joust On hope, so easy and often doused; Braving the onslaught of sorrow, Prestigiously gaining tomorrow. Carrying home a prize that none would share, Over the battlefields of despair. To celebrate, alone, in toast and feast (If but for today), a conquered beast. Did I waste it? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
For blame and guilt I've worn like a crown... I simply smile for the cessation Of crosses no longer weighing me down. This thread moves me... and while so many of my words are born of emotion, sometimes emotion leaves me mute. So I'll just thank you... for being the magnificent poet you are, for being the good man you are, for being the treasured friend you are. And I'll add another thank you for Life's Epic Battles... from all of us who know but could never express it so well. |
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