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Amberzlynnc
Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 229
New Jersey

0 posted 2012-05-20 10:59 PM

Oh, Master.
Oh, supplier of the things necessary for my survival-
my sustenance, my hydration,
my stuffed birds and hard balls on which to gnaw.
Why have you wronged me so?
After all that I’ve done in attempts to make you happy.
For nearly four years I’ve offered to help you clean,
admire the amazing way you feed yourself using your thumbed hands and utensils,
attempt to introduce myself and learn something about the guests you have over,
and comply (80% of the time) with the rude commands that you bark off at me all day.
I have tried so hard to show you my love and appreciation.
But apparently my “unsanitary” tongue does not do nearly as good a job of cleaning up crumbs as your “Swiffer”,
you order me to leave the room when I stare at you while you’re eating (you yell about how I am “begging”—pshh),
you keep me from recognizing any guests by swatting my fatty behind every time I try to sniff a guest’s aroma beneath their hips,
and I sit, stay, lay down, be quiet, and fetch a great majority of the time when you ask me to!

So here I am, confused and a wee bit sad.
After all of the ways I try to love you,
I’d think you’d reward me and at least allow me to sleep on something softer than that dreadful dog bed (I swear, that thing feels like it’s stuffed with old Milkbones instead of soft stuffing.)
But nope.
50 nights of sleep on your new white sofas and that was enough to ruin any love you had for me.
I can’t help it if drool seeps from my mouth while I sleep.
Nor can I help it if my dirty paws pass dirt onto the things I touch.
Why punish me like this?
Heck, this is torture!
I’m stuck sleeping in the same room as you at night now,
and I use the term “sleeping” loosely.
Maybe I could get some sleep if you humans stopped snoring for five minutes.
Gosh.. If only I could have woken up five minutes before you found me sleeping on the sofa for the past two months.
Hmm.. I got it!
I wonder what you’ll do if my 95 pounds of fat and fur start sleeping on your bed now…

*Amber

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

1 posted 2012-05-20 11:37 PM

LOL...I absolutely love it...what a vision this is...It brought laughter to me...Very well done...*HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2012-05-21 05:31 AM

I have a canine, so this was especially wonderful to read. Pampered mutts!

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

rabittlover
Junior Member

since 2012-04-07

Posts 46

3 posted 2012-05-31 12:08 PM

Delightful, I believe you have made my day just a little lighter with your lovely poem.
More please, I need the laughs.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

4 posted 2012-05-31 04:36 PM

Loved it!!

j.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2012-06-11 09:06 AM

ROFLMAO... Loved this!!

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