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Open Poetry #46

We are Blind

Sheen
New Member

since 2010-01-10

Posts 7
Hawaii,US

0 posted 2010-01-10 09:35 PM

So much struggling and so much pain,
from each of us living as we try to maintain.
Life is cruel when hopes are lost,
because of sins that we have cost.

We must free ourselves from this strain,
and find the strength to overcome this pain.
If hate troubles us in each one's mind,
then with this hate,"We Are Blind".

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2010-01-10 09:39 PM

Welcome to Passions and I know you will enjoy it here. I know I sure would enjoy it there right about now.

Your poem speaks to how useless hate is, and well done!

Check your email for a little surprise from us all here. Again, welcome.

~♥ Mysteria ♥~

Dadygoose
Member

since 2010-01-01

Posts 162
A Communist country

2 posted 2010-01-10 09:50 PM

I'll have to think a bit about this one, and, actually, I am blind and use a screne reader program called Jaws for Windows
Jaime

Hey, nobody's human!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2010-01-11 02:53 PM

Sheen,

Looking forward to reading more of your works. I'm enjoying what I hear.

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

4 posted 2010-05-11 11:19 PM

You are correct that hate is never the answer.

srizah
Junior Member

since 2010-05-03

Posts 34
India

5 posted 2010-05-12 04:27 AM

"We must free ourselves from this strain" You have tried to convey something very deep, but I think restricting yourself with rhyming lines is limiting you. My humble suggestion is to try free verse and you could better mold your words to convey your thoughts like a knife through butter.

~ srizah ~

Live Life!

whisperingwalt
Member

since 2010-04-29

Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada

6 posted 2010-05-12 12:03 PM

The letting go of what we have inside us makes us real...the angst comes through...the writing improves with every poem...keep it coming.WW

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