Open Poetry #46 |
Farewell |
julia1094 New Member
since 2010-02-22
Posts 2 |
Left. Right. Left. Right Breathe In. Breathe Out Left. Right. Left. Right Breathe In. Breathe Out. Left. Right. Left. Right Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Iiiinnnn Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Oooouuuutttt Her feet pound the cold cement walk, turning the corner on the third block. The air is cool but she feels a fool. The house where he lives is in her sight, rushing back come the memories of that night. During a time when the weather was hot, a single gal she was definitely not. For the boy down the street stole her heart, and he knew how to break it right from the start. Left. Right. Left. Right Breathe In. Breathe Out Left. Right. Left. Right Breathe In. Breathe Out. Left. Right. Left. Right It's colder now as she reminisces, about the strong arms of the boy she now misses. Spending warm summer evenings hand in hand frolicking about and building castles in the sand. Those midsummer nights seem only a dream, sitting on the porch eating strawberry ice cream. Oh how she longs to forget, but will not just yet that beautiful, seasonal, teenage love affair. The streetlights turn on, as does her courage. She is standing face to face with the modest brick structure that will determine her fate. A glow permeates through his bedroom window shutters, thinking of what to say her heart flutters. Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Iiiinnnn Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Oooouuuutttt Her mouth opens and words fly out: "Au revoir to you, my friend and foe. Our aftermath brought me nothing but woe. The relationship, in its prime, was nothing short of bliss, but unfortunately amore, it is not you I shall miss." |
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© Copyright 2010 julia1094 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Welcome to Pip, dear Julia. I enjoyed reading your first entry and I think you rendered your mood very well. The story is closed with no regrets, your attitude is the right one, so there won't be more suffering. Love, Margherita |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The teens are a lifetime of hit and miss and hissing mitts... but your descriptions are colorful, and should be a forewarning of all that can and reality says does go wrong in youth... but your perseverance is actual, and real. Welcome to Passions! Please, check your email for a Very Special Welcome! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Very Good. And I agree with the two smart ladies above. latearrival. |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
Welcome Julia!! I as well enjoyed this poem, I felt tense and releave for her. If only others could let go with ease, outstanding poem. |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Amazing how true those last lines are. An absolute truth I've come to learn through the years. Well done. Very much. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Julia, Sounds like one tough chick. Your words work well, I like your poem. Love Bobby |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
The last stanza wraps up this poem nicely. It is the best part. |
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