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Unexpectations
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Unexpectations |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050
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The other day I awoke deep down at the bottom of a puddle, looking up when a reflection of myself suddenly appeared and looked down at me, and laughed, and although I didn’t want to, I did too, I guess I really didn‘t have a choice in the matter. And then, he just walked away, with a sad smirk. Funny how, dreams and reality are really both on the same page, of our mind. I guess it really just depends where you finally, draw the line. Walking on tight ropes really isn’t all that risky after all is it? There’s something comforting in a pitiful way, when you already know you’re going to, fall. That’s my life, right there. Just expecting to lose something, is losing it already, isn’t it? How damn unfair it is to sanctify someone, and expect them to live up to our unrealistic expectations. Life isn’t a game of chess, where you are the king, hell I‘m not even a pawn, you just can’t over analyze it, but nevertheless, sometimes, that is just a curse we wear like a scar on our tainted mind. God just to be genuine, with others, and with oneself again. As if that’s little to ask for. That’s the only way it was ever supposed to be. I’m assuming I was authentic and absolute at one time, at least when I was a little bit younger but right now, my mind doesn’t care to pull those recorded documents of authenticity off the shelf, it would rather wallow like a hog in a big fat pothole of self pity. I already knew that in the long run I wasn’t going to accept happiness anyway. But I guess it had been so long, since I’ve had any, that I forgot what light tasted like. And so I got used to the flavor again, and I savored it, wholeheartedly, probably knowing in the back of my mind, not to relish it too much, as you will just miss all that much more when its gone. Its sad when realization does, finally catch up to you. We think we can build invisible walls to cage in this unrealistic life, only to find out, the walls were invisible because they were never there to begin with. You ever walk out on a bridge too far and realize that you will never make it if you continue? So you take one last look, and think, if only, as you walk on back. Funny how we talk ourselves into thinking that we can change, and handle things differently, when in the end, those damn spots just won’t wash off our skin so easily. I was going to say that its not easy being a coward, but then I heard myself saying, wow that is something only a coward could say. It is, easy being a coward. It’s just not easy waking up with one everyday, looking back at you, in the mirror. You ever hate, who you are? Not much fun, is it? God I hate fear. And I fear hate. Sometimes though, the fear alone of losing something you care for so very much, is just too much to bear. What’s even scarier, is realizing that you never even had it, in the first place. It’s true, the best things in life are, unexpected. I guess because there never were, any expectations to begin with. [This message has been edited by Richy (02-21-2010 09:36 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2010 Richy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Reading the poet's heartbreak, listening to Unchained Melody shortly after is too much for this goddess to bear this Sunday morning. Ah........the Passion, the Passion |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Oh I'm okay Michelle, its not usually as bad as it seems. Just having one of those moments, you know. The moment has lasted all of my life, but hey, thats beside the point :P Put on some more of that Bob Marley, someone like you should always be up, and smiling. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thank you sweet Vandana, you too!  |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You break my heart Richy. Because there is so much to smile about in this life. Who said we have to be a prince or princess? Who tells us we have to be anything other than who we are? If I have my library and garden I am happy and busy. To wander out into the yard of a morning and see the dew drops sitting on a spider's web, to see the first cardinal and his mate hopping around the yard. To see young children playing in the park or a sun flower trying to pop it's sunny head out of the gutter, all bring a smile to my heart. I toss you some right now, catch and smile Richy. I do understand your heart and it clouds my joy to read it sad. latearrival |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Dear MartyJo, you are the sweetest thing in the world! What wonderful words you left to cheer me up, and you did! Funny how sometimes all it takes is a gentle hand of sincere thoughts, to make all the difference. Bless you my dear for the lovely sentiments, and, for simply being you. See it is true. The best things are, the ones you least, expect. Richard |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Richy, this was wonderfully written. I could see myself in many of your lines, too many to repeat, though in my earlier years and most of them, I felt the opposite and was living my dreams. Sorry about not being on much although I am reading when up tp it.( having a health problem and snow blizzard events to take care of) Always a pleasure to see you back.  M |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
My dear Maureen, thank you for saying what you did, it means a ton. Feeling a little embarrased for actually writing something like this, kind of like a hangover after drinking too much reality. But, hey, what are friends for if you can't share your inner most concerns yes? I am so sorry to hear about your health my dear I hope it's nothing too bad and that you still have much to look forward to. Don't listen to my pitiful rants, life is the $hizzle isn't it? And if it even trys to get us down we're just gonna haul off and smack it in te face... yeah. Okay, feel much better now ha. What's going on with those snow storms back there with you guys! Hang in there hon, rumor has it, that warmer days are just around the corner. |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
I as well can relate to this poem, infact I still do(once in a while). But I tey to look for the good of it and hope you do too |
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