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Open Poetry #46
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Starless Summer Night
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Starless Summer Night |
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rebelrea Junior Member
since 2010-10-22
Posts 20Michigan, USA |
This is a country song... incase you didn't figure it out haha comment! We met on the hills at sunset Over in east Tennessee He was working a farm in the summer I was visiting family We shared stories from our life When we met every evening Under that old oak tree It felt like a new beginning The rain was starting when he looked at me His eyes shining bright He reached over and took my hand On a starless summer night Oh a starless summer night Was where I found my first love Fingers running through wet hair While clouds are rumbling above The rain falling down hard Dripping through the wet leaves Upon us, under that Old oak tree Summer was coming to an end I couldn’t stand the thought We met one day Said he was thinking a lot I looked into his eyes And feared what was coming ahead I kept thinking of the worse And filling up with dread He took my hands And with a lightning strike He broke my heart In a starless summer night Oh a starless summer night I stopped believing in love He kissed me one last time With the storm raging above The rain falling down hard Over where he left me Oh they hid the tears Under that Old oak tree |
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| © Copyright 2010 Reagen Brady - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
For someone only fourteen you have a lot of life in front of you, but you already understand about love, desire and pain. I am not a writer of song, so I can;t constructively critique this. As I read it, however, I tried to put it to a tune in my head and it worked out just fine the way it is. There are songwriters here of course, maybe they'll be more forthcoming with the critique. I enjoyed it. To mimic is a form of praise unless |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
enjoyed it ms reb!...you are well beyond 14..at least your boots are. |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
This is exquisite, and like Dark Stranger says, it betrays your mental and emotional maturity as being something more than 14. It's awesome to find a teen female who doesn't write in a typical "girly" way. Bravo and keep them coming! ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Reagen...as you continue working on your songs, you will grow into your passions...but as some of them have already said, you've always got old boots. My brother's songs always had a bridge. You might want to consider that, as well. Overall? You're on a great start, and I truly wish you all the best. What do you play? Guitar? Piano? |
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Prats Member
since 2010-12-16
Posts 74 |
Your song is lovely and touching...  When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile... :D |
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