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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2010-12-15 07:23 AM

it was the starbucks down on seaward
and you were with your smoking token toy
driving his bentley as if you owned him
and he was wearing your shortest skirt
over his sleeve as if you were for sale

you giggled at my cookie in the cup
of almost ready instant healthy oatmeal
and then me not stirring it up too
made you request an extended explanation
as if I was a new cartoon on your channel

inspiration and motivation and a reward
I replied as I mentioned the boredom
of oatmeal when it is nude and willing
just laying there with no real guarantees
of immortality or eternal life or health

getting through the predictable journey
to the reward that is hidden underneath
makes it all worth while sometimes
to which you shivered into silence then
went to the counter and purchased a cookie

you said you would have to try that out
as you placed that cookie in his chair
and then winked at my amazing understanding
as we both waited patiently for his return
but he removed it before he smugly reclined

there was sorrow in your eyes for moments
as if someone changed your channel mid show
before the happy ending could get there
but my hand did as you prepared to stand
and you said "promise?" as you retrieved

the cookie I placed on top of your napkined lap

_______________

daark

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2010-12-15 07:47 AM

I really like the way you used oatmeal
to surrender your mortalness...
but then of course, the cookie placed
you back in the heavens of gods...

A good...long...read. Enjoyed with my Jo.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2010-12-15 08:02 AM

Sensuous piece of writing here, daark, in my opinion. Metaphors galore are apparent and subjective. I really liked this one.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2010-12-15 10:53 AM

You and your mojo, gotta love the stuff.

Liking your style DS~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2010-12-15 11:09 AM

DS....I read this while eating Honey Nut Cheerios and banana. Enjoyed your poem more.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2010-12-15 11:47 AM

ms sun, thanks lady friend

_____________

jp, thanks guy..was a fun moment to capture

_______________

babyblue, thanks babe, coffee?

________________

ms martie, thanks little neighbor

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