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Open Poetry #46
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Detroit Sunday 1987
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Detroit Sunday 1987 |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now 
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Some memories cling like burrs to a heathered sweater, itching at the nape while others sink obedient like Heaney's queen, occluded in the thick steaming bog tonight it rises once more: the barren streets dull with exhaust, sullen under grimey skies; smell of wet concrete and spilled oil labyrinthine buildings mirrored metallic, where no one worked, bought, or sold- empty as the aftermath of armageddon our voices rang, repeated on the steel and glass; our raucous wanderings arrogant, and fierce with youth's ignorance exhuberant, we whistled past the graveyard; not naming even then these seeds of terror- walking through the echoing halls of the dying city while our watchful eyes took note of shadow- where the slant of sun would send an orange shaft between the rows unwilling to be caught in this necropolis when the light was gone . . A pile of scribbles here: http://sharonleighpoetry.blogspot.com |
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| © Copyright 2010 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mikeandrew Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198 |
nice work i enjoyed the way your poem flows |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Ah, this could be a harbinger of things to come if certain things don't get straightened out. At any rate, I loved it even if it wasn't a first-rate predication. Spooky, but meaningful. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you, MikeAndrew , and thank you also, Jerry. Yes, it was empty of a Sunday way back then.. now it is that way every single day. =( Amaryllis |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Amaryllis Are you making reference to the plane crash? Did you know someone on that flight or are you just grieving for all? This is very sad melancholy writing but extremely expressive. My that was a terrible crash!! 155 people snuffed out within seconds of take off. However, you may not be talking about that at all. You made me curious. Take care and keep up the wonderful writing, you're so very talented. Eric |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Thought provoking write. Makes me wonder about the crash like Eric mentioned. Especially like these lines. “unwilling to be caught in this necropolis when the light was gone”. Fine writing. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you, Eric, and Prasad... I remember that plane crash. =( Awful. No, this didn't have anything to do with that, though... I think I've obviously written it too abstract...losing the reader. It's meant to reference a memory I still have (haunting) of visiting downtown Detroit years and years ago, with a group of young kids... it was Sunday, and the city seemed completely empty. I'm sure there were some people about, but it was so odd... truly like a ghost town (city). We wandered around and made noise, etc... but we knew better than to be there when it got dark! (it was a notoriously dangerous part of town.) Strange memory... and I know Dt is even worse off, now, economically, so I was making an oblique reference to that, also, knowing the reader would infer this. Thank you so much, for reading me! =) Think I'll return to your regular scheduled Amaryllis write, from now on.. =p  Time to stay true to my own voice! LolMy best to you~ Amaryllis A pile of scribbles here: |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Amy... Thank you for the reference to the time and place and actions of your group within the moment...it helps. Spookily, of course, we see signs of that in movies, in books far before your time, in reference even in the Bible and other religious sources. The times, they are a'changing...and only we can make a difference. As you do, each and every day you write. Thank you, my dear poet, for making your voice known. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Detroit remains a war zone. You captured much of it as impressions. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you so much, Sunshine, Icebox... I so appreciate your comment here.  This one wasn't one of my best, I fear... lol... but I am grateful for your support. Best~ Amaryllis A pile of scribbles here: |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: What a vision and what an atmosphere you re-created with your masterful words, dear Amaryllis. The chill is felt! Always nice to learn of the source of inspiration, but as you can see the poem works very well even without details, because it allows readers to paint the scene individually. Love, Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The image this provoked was somehow modern day Dickens... labyrinthine...love that. You're amazing.  |
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Bastet Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246 |
What a talent you have! You never fail to work magic with your words. A plane crash -- not an easy topic, but you have rendered the atmosphere so perfectly that your reader is totally presnt at the scene. As usual, bravo! |
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flash Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213miami beach, florida |
Amaryllis: unique similies & metaphors--however bleak the remembrance..unique imagery..certainly Seamus Heaney's perfect ideal warm "queen" now icy cold in the stark wetlands of memory. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
You took me there and creeped me out! Excellent! LGR |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Many, many thanks, to all above..! And flash, thanks for reading this poem exactly as I'd meant. It gladdens me. Best~ Amaryllis |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Never been fond of that city. Both sides of my family come from across the lake, out of Windsor, Ontario. I've traveled more times across the Ambassador Bridge than I care to mention. Detroit has always struck me as the worst of what city living has to offer. I've read through some of your comments and understand where you're coming from on this one, but I have to say that it made me think more of the failing auto industry and all those that are currently unemployed. Just how I read it. Quality writing here. thanks for sharing. Peace. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Then you read it correctly, Andrew, thanks... in one of my comments above I did mention as how I'd hoped my allusion to the current state of affairs in Dt. would be inferred by the reader... so I am glad it read that way to you. I am no more fond of the city than yourself... we lived more than 2 hrs away, rural kids, and a visit to the 'big city' was a grand adventure... one to only be attempted on the (relatively) tame Sunday! Best~ Amaryllis A pile of scribbles here: |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I've never been to Detroit, but I used to root for the Detroit Tigers baseball team. From what I gather it is one of the worst examples of what a city should not do in America. that isn't to say everything about it is bad, but it has that reputation. Liked the poem about a city I probably wouldn't like. That is a compliment. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank ya, Jer! ~A |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Here's a link to Heaney's The Bog Queen, for those who have not yet read it. A nice write, Amaryllis. I like the "orange shaft between the rows" part, very conjuring of many urban decay twilight time memories. Time for unarmed citizens to get out of "Dodge", huh. The Dickens reference in a previous comment could just as well be made to Stevenson's Mr. Hyde stalking juggernaut-style through the London night, running over misplaced children at every street corner, and to lawyer/narrator Utterson's nightmares thereof. http://inwardboundpoetry.blogspot.com/2006/08/198-bog-queen-seamus-heaney.html |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you, easy1, for the commentary and for posting the link. I appreciate that!My best~ Amaryllis A pile of scribbles here: |
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