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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

0 posted 2010-11-01 09:31 PM

You, You've made me weep
and all this time I thought that
I was slicing you.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

1 posted 2010-11-01 10:43 PM

Excellent. I was expecting something longer with the peeling of skin. This is terrific. Latearrival

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2010-11-01 11:40 PM

(smiling)

short and concise realization.....

enjoyed

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

3 posted 2010-11-01 11:53 PM

Like Shrek says, "Ogres are like onions. They got layers." So does you poem. Nice job.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2010-11-02 12:11 PM

Love the play off reality.

Good stuff!

Eric

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

5 posted 2010-11-02 02:36 AM

So simple but profound. Great metaphor.

did you intend to capitalize the second 'you'? you aren't starting a new sentence or line, so it's a little distracting, but other than that minuscule detail, great job.

Amberzlynnc
Member

since 2010-08-24

Posts 229
New Jersey

6 posted 2010-11-02 03:53 AM

Wonderful!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

7 posted 2010-11-02 08:08 AM

Thank You all for your comments. I'm flattered, you are all too kind. As each of you have wonderful pieces, I wouldn't dare compete with.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

8 posted 2010-11-02 08:13 AM

Your creativity is unboundless.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

9 posted 2010-11-02 08:16 AM

Thanx Jerry - Its all about the layers

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member

since 2010-05-03

Posts 903

10 posted 2010-11-02 10:48 AM

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto my dear! I can only echo what has already been said. ebm

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

11 posted 2010-11-02 01:29 PM

Oh yes, layers and bitter tears... wonderful write!

Best~
Amaryllis

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

12 posted 2010-11-02 04:36 PM

EBM, Amaryllis - Thanx

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2010-11-02 06:18 PM

Nice...very nice...James

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

14 posted 2010-11-02 06:26 PM

Thanx for looking in James

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

15 posted 2010-11-02 10:15 PM

Creative and nice.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

16 posted 2010-11-02 10:41 PM

Thanx Earl

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

17 posted 2010-11-02 11:59 PM

Simple, poignant and perfect!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

18 posted 2010-11-03 06:43 AM

Trina

I know you posted this because that's how the Chamorro language came to be invented....Your ancestors were slicing oinons and the mist got in their eyes as they were talking english like an Aussie so it altered thier speech and out came what??....You guessed it Chamorro!!!!!

I do research on these important things..

Eric

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

19 posted 2010-11-03 12:48 PM

Balladeer - Thanx so much.

Eric - Not really why I wrote it, but thats an interesting guess lol Ah, but Thanx for the....research?

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

20 posted 2010-11-03 06:49 PM

He he I was just foolin around a bit....It's just me being crazy.....LOL!

Eric

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

21 posted 2010-11-03 07:13 PM

lol I know.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

22 posted 2010-11-03 07:53 PM

Trina...I enjoyed the thought in this and the simple way you wrote something, complex and much more than an onion.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

23 posted 2010-11-03 07:55 PM

And yet onions have layers and layers
to pull upon, it's just not the slicing
and dicing...

This is good. Very good!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

24 posted 2010-11-03 08:30 PM

Well and perfectly done, my friend...

j.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

25 posted 2010-11-03 09:45 PM

Martie, Sunshine, J. - Thanx so much!

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

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